I (28F) and my husband (28M) have been friends with Kaiden (35M) and Lisa (32F) for about 7 years. We met when we all lived in the same apartment complex.
Recently, both of our families moved out around the same time. My husband and I moved into a house that is still within the school district our son (9) attends. Kaiden and Lisa moved outside of that district, and the school their daughter Cassie would attend now requires tuition, which they can’t afford.
They asked my husband if they could use our address so their daughter could stay in the district. My husband talked to me about it when he got home from work, and I said no. The school requires proof of address, and even if it didn’t, I’m pretty sure using someone else’s address is illegal and could get us into serious trouble if the school found out.
My husband relayed my decision to them, and now they’re calling me an AH for not helping them out. I’m starting to feel guilty, but I also don’t want to risk legal trouble for my family.
So Reddit… AITAH?
NTA, there are legal consequences to this in most countries, it’s not worth the hassle getting caught
How did they not research this outcome before moving out
There were TWO cases locally where parents who illegally registered their children in a more desirable district were prosecuted by the district and in one case the friend who helped them was prosecuted as well for the district to recover the tuition costs for the children— five children for four years.
Why can’t they just send their kids to the local public school in their new district to avoid paying private school tuition?
It’s weird because the school that she would go to is a public school but there’s also tuition for certain circumstances. I’m not exactly sure what those circumstances are because I’ve never lived in that school district. It just seems a little weird to me because I’ve never heard of anyone paying tuition for a public school.
Are you outside of the US? In the US it’s pretty much unheard of to charge tuition to students living in the catchment area. They can charge for optional “extras” like field trips, AP exams, after school care.
I know in both of the local cases those involved in the fraud were on the hook for close to six figures and at least one of the families involved had their home and assets seized.
I would check the laws in your country to see what financial liability you and your husband would bear should your fraud be uncovered.
NTA, they could file an out of district request for their daughter to attend her old school if that district has that policy.
NTA, but your husband may be. He should have relayed the decision as a joint decision, not just yours.
I did tell him that we should be a united front when it comes to decisions so it’s not just “well she said no”
What is his plan for rectifying this f-up? I can’t believe he threw you under the bus this way.
In any event, these people are no longer your friends. Let’s hope they don’t make it back to your school district.
NTA. This is residency fraud. Their can be criminal or civil penalties. They want you to be an accessory to their criminal activity. I wouldn’t put my neck out for a friend like this. A friend wouldn’t ask you to break the law either.
NTA because that’s fraud, but there are ways your friends can legally enroll their daughter; transfers, open enrollment, or they can find some specific circumstance that would allow the transfer
Like afterschool care or family in that district, employed in that district, in the process of moving and wanting the child to stay etc
There are lots of **legal** ways to keep the kid in the school
NTA. And anyone upset that you won’t help them commit fraud aren’t really your friends.
People have been prosecuted for falsifying addresses — both the parents and the people knowingly allowing them to do so.
The only way around this would be moving the kid into your place.
Where are you that these people now live in a school district that the required school has a tuition cost?
Oh and NTA. From experience (my wife’s really), lying about address to the school systems almost always leads to lying about other things with the schools. It’s a slippery slope.
NTA. How is the only school she can requiring tuition? I don’t think all the information was provided.