I (28, F) am British but ethnically Korean and I was brought up always to take your shoes off indoors (its a big part of korean culture not to wear shoes indoors). I know not everyone does that in their own homes, but in my home I dont wear shoes and I don’t want others wearing shoes either, so I politely ask guests to take their shoes.
Recently I had a hosted a dinner party for about 8 friends. Nobody had a problem except one who said her shoes were part of her outfit and she didn’t want to take them off. I told her I’m sorry but I insist and she got angry. She refused and ended up storming off.
Am I the asshole?
NTA
your house – your rules.
Who does she think she is – Carrie Bradshaw?
My guess is it has more to do with some type of foot issue the guest has. Maybe in need of a pedicure, maybe really stinky feet, maybe she is irrationally scared of other people’s foot fungus, maybe she thinks OPs floors are gross and doesn’t want to touch it.
Whatever it is, I highly doubt it is rooted in “fashion” that is just the excuse.
OP is culturally Korean and doesn’t wear shoes in her home.
I guarantee there is nothing wrong with her floors.
NTA
I live in Canada and it’s common to remove your shoes as well, especially this time of year. It’s rude as hell to wear your outdoor shoes inside someone’s house.
To me, one of the worst feelings in the world is walking around in socks, and stepping in a little bit of cold melted snow on someone’s floor. Cold, wet socks are the worst. So, shoes come off at the door for everybody.
Self-inflicted soakers from the backs of your own pant cuffs are the *worst*, or trying to not get one wading through the shoes around a doorway near Christmas time lol.
Agreed not the asshole, but do communicate it ahead of time. She might have some toe fungus or something embarrassing. Perhaps have socks or slippers for people to use.
Canadian here. It’s just common courtesy to not drag the outdoors all over someone’s floor. We ALWAYS take our shoes off
NTA. It’s normal to take off shoes when entering a home.
NTA but in future, try to communicate this aspect of your household etiquette ahead of time. There *are* some outfits where shoes, heels in particular, make a big deal. For example, I have some pants that are really only safe to walk in if I am wearing high heels and putting slippers or socks on while wearing them would risk damaging the cuffs. Your friend’s reaction was too intense, but I could see someone being reasonably annoyed by the request.
Wearing an outfit to someone’s home where high heels are necessary is insane, tbh.
Most British people I know have a no shoes rule too. This woman is weird.
NTA
NTA. I’m swedish and in the majority of at least European countries, we take our shoes of. It’s gross to leave them on and track all that dirt and muck through the house. Friend was definitely the AH. If she really think her outfit is more important than a dinner party with friends I wouldn’t be happy with her if she was my friend.
It’s absolutely baffling to me that people don’t take their shoes off at home. Dont people realize other people pee on the ground, spit, vomit and litter and leave all kinds of nasty things on the ground and leave it fermenting there and you will bring all these nasty particles into your home. Especially when you have kids. They sit on the ground, put their hands there and then put that hand in their mouth and on you and now you’re wearing some homeless person’s pants-cheese on yourself.