I (27M) have a weekend trip planned that I booked like two months ago. It’s not anything crazy, just a short getaway because work’s been stressful and I really needed a break. I already put in PTO, paid for everything myself, and I mentioned it to my family when it came up.
Last week my sister (31F) called me really upset and said she already “put me down” to watch our parents’ house and dog for that same weekend. Apparently she and her husband got invited to a last minute out of town thing and she told them I’d probably be free and could do it.
I reminded her I had the trip planned and she said she figured I could just move it since “family comes first” and this event was important for her husband’s job. I told her I wasn’t really okay canceling something I already paid for, especially since nobody asked me first.
This turned into an argument pretty fast. She said I was being selfish and choosing a vacation over family. I said the issue was more that she committed me to something without checking. I also said I wasn’t refusing to help forever, just that weekend. I even offered to help find a pet sitter and pay part of it but she said that wasn’t the point.
Now my parents are kinda involved. They’re not mad exactly but they keep saying stuff like it would be nice if I was more flexible and that my sister has a lot going on. Nobody is straight up telling me to cancel the trip but it definitely feels like that’s what they want.
I do feel bad because I know this caused stress, but at the same time it feels like I’m being guilted over a problem I didn’t make. If I cancel now I lose money and PTO and I know I’d be annoyed about it.
So AITA for not canceling my plans after my sister volunteered me without asking?
TL;DR: Sister signed me up to watch our parents’ house and dog without asking and assumed I’d cancel my already planned trip. I said no and offered other options. Family thinks I should just be flexible.
NTA. Pack your bags and go on your trip. You are not a servant.
NTA, she should’ve checked with you. Even if you didn’t have anything going on she still should have checked.
Have fun on your vacation!
If your sister believes “family comes first”, why doesn’t that include you? NTA. How dare she voluntell you, then claim you’re the selfish one?!
Apparently her husbands job is more important than family. Hard not to wonder, has the sister always been entitled and selfish? I would ask why family comes first for OP but second for them
NTA
> and this event was important for her husband’s job
Then let her husband go and she can watch the dogs. Problem solved. Sounds like she’s using it as an excuse to get away from the “lot going on” that she’s so exhausted from.
NTA it sounds like no one remembered your trip in the first place. When sister suggested (because without your input she can’t definitively promise anything from you) that you’d be free, your parents should have said “oh, no OP has that trip the same weekend.” Also, how rude and entitled is your sister? To just assume that you have nothing going on, or can drop whatever it is to help family when she isn’t willing to drop everything for family?
NTA
It’s for her husband’s job, so your BIL can go alone and your sister can stay to watch house and pets.
Thank you, this is my opinion too. Why does BIL’s work trip have anything to with Sister’s weekend plans?
Your sister is the selfish one. Since family comes first, she can stay at your parents house while her husband goes on his work trip.
NTA. It’s for her husband’s job, why does she have to travel too? Shouldn’t she stay and watch your parents house? She’s also family, right? Why is she putting his job over family?
NTA, but you’re making a mistake in arguing about this and in offering to help pay. You should have told her you couldn’t understand why she would attempt to volunteer you for something without asking you and when she already knew you had a booked trip. Her life is not more important than yours because she is married. To the parents- you knew about the trip. Then silence. There is nothing to argue about. It was deliberate on her part and quite rude. Do you have a pattern of letting her run over you? That may explain why she thought she could get by with it.
This is all your parents problem, it’s their dog. If they feel so strongly they should cancel their plans for the sake of their dog. NTA.
Ask your parents why your sister’s spur of the moment plan is more important than your planned and paid for holiday?
Why aren’t your parents giving up their holiday to look after their pets and house, because their daughter and son-in-law’s event is way more important than the family holiday plans.
NTA and enjoy you holiday.
Umm her husband can go to this thing alone and she can look after the house, since she spoke for you and your parents relied on that. She can be flexible instead. NTA.