So, I (19F) live with my parents, my brother (22M), and his fiancée (23F). My brother and his fiancée have been together for 4 years, and engaged for about 9 months.
A little context about my brother: he has a dark past. Something our family collectively chose to forget and forgive. I… haven’t really forgotten. But that’s not what this is about.
Ever since I was younger, my brother has always been a little unusual sexually. He’s shown me things I shouldn’t have seen, taught me things I shouldn’t have known. As a kid, we all brushed it off “teenage boy stuff.” But honestly, those memories make what I’m about to tell you even worse.
About his fiancée: in the most loving, nicest way possible, she’s on the bigger side. She’s always been that way, since she was a kid. None of us think about it negatively. I thought my brother was fine with it. I was wrong.
Flashback: when I was 12, my brother showed me that iPhones can have hidden folders. I didn’t know what they were at the time, but it felt like he *wanted* me to see something. Curious, I peeked when he left the room. I shouldn’t have. Inside were things no 12-year-old should see: scat, pregnant women, animals… everything. I still remember the shock, the feeling of looking at something too big and wrong to process.
Fast forward to a few days ago. I’m in the car with my brother and my mom. I’m sitting all the way in the back, resting my head on the seat. I glance at his phone. At first, I can’t see what he’s doing it’s zoomed in. Then he zooms out. And… it’s a photo of his fiancée. Fully nude.
Not just a casual edit. He had completely altered her body, her hair, her face, everything. Thinner. Different hair color and cut. Perfect skin. She looked like a completely different person. And immediately, I remembered the girl he had done this to when he was 16… his girlfriend at the time. He sent her the photo. She broke up with him. I have no idea what he was thinking.
I honestly sometimes wonder if he’s on the spectrum in a way or just… a weird creep. He’s distancing himself from my brother more and more, day by day.
Yesterday, I’m hanging out in a room with his fiancée. We’re smoking, just chilling. I can’t get what I saw out of my head. I feel like she deserves to know. So I tell her.
She explains that he has a hidden folder filled with other women, other fantasies she already feels insecure about. This wasn’t a one-off; it’s a whole pattern. I don’t feel bad for telling her. She deserves to know. But part of me wonders if I overstepped, did I betray him? Should I have left it for her to discover herself?
Honestly… right now, that’s not my main concern. Seeing her face when she realized what was in his phone made me certain I did the right thing. Maybe I’m overthinking it.
So… AITA for telling my brother’s fiancee he’s making deepfakes of her?
NTA
So what your brother did to you is sexual abuse. He probably needs help and his fiancé definitely needed to know. You should probably get therapy and stay as far away from him as possible.
I have nowhere else to go. I’m only 19. He’s the one who needs to leave. We’ve been trying for 3 years but he can’t get his shit together
He doesn’t want to get himself together. He’s a dangerous person. You have no choice but to protect yourself from him, stay away from him, do not be alone with him. He’s creepy as all hell. Do your parents know what he has done and about his secret folders? It might be time to tell them.
Your brother’s behavior is creepy and manipulative, and she deserves to know what she’s dealing with. Honestly, the fact that he’s been doing this for years is wild.
I had no idea all of this was still current. I feel like I should have acted so much sooner but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t have ever known
1. Your parents need to be informed about all of this.
2. Ensure your bedroom and bathroom doors are always locked and if necessary, bolted for good luck.
3. This poor girl should never marry your brother.
4. Your brother requires continued medical and mental health treatment.
. . . if there is any truth to this tale . . .
1, I need to tell my parents as soon as I can. It’s late right now but in the right moment I will get it all out. 2, All of my doors lock And I’ve always been cautious, 3. I agree. I wish I could keep her instead 4 , He’s been in therapy, on meds, he can’t ever keep it up. We need more help. I agree.
5, this story is absolutely true If I could fake up a story like this I wouldn’t be able to live with myself
Unless you know they’re asleep, you talk to them as soon as they wake up. No mucking around for the “right time”. They need to take control of this. Please tell them EVERYTHING in your post. Then you tell them what I’ve said. Good luck sweetie 💙💙💙
I think you can be an AH from brothers POV but a savior to the fiancé. Your brother needs help (obviously)
Overall NTA
INFO: My brother has been caught with something like this before, we had a sheriff’s note sent to our house because of “things” he downloaded illegally onto our IP address. A year back im pretty sure. I did not mention this fact due to it being so specific. I’m scared of it linking back to me but It’s best for y’all to know this as well. I’m aware of what my brother is doing and I am aware of what he put me through. I am not siding with him at all, it’s 99% hate and 1% . You’re my brother! Yk but thank you all for all of your support and I would love to hear more input
NTA Your brother is a predator of a sort. He never should have shown you anything about his sexual proclivities at all! You were absolutely right to tell his girlfriend what he was doing. She deserves to know what he’s doing. The fact that he’s been doing this for so long and your parents didn’t put him in therapy is kinda irresponsible. He needs therapy and probably so do you.
What you did was moral. She deserves to know. That’s it