I (33F) was close friends with “Sadie” (35F) for years before we worked together. I started my own business and later brought her in AS AN EMPLOYEE because we had talked about collaborating.
Things deteriorated quickly. Our working styles didn’t align, and when issues came up, I tried to address them directly and arranged meetings with a counselor. She declined to participate and eventually resigned. I was relieved I didn’t have to fire her, but hurt and confused about how abruptly the friendship ended.
Recently, she reached out out of the blue with an emotional message saying she’d been thinking about me, apologizing for not going to counseling, admitting she hadn’t always rooted for my success, and saying she hoped we could be close again one day.
I replied politely, thanked her for owning her part, said working together hadn’t been the right fit but that we tried, and wished her well.
She then sent follow-up messages that included spiritual/astrology content about our “compatibility,” suggesting I was avoidant, anxious, and needed to “prove my love,” and that the ball was in my court. This made me uncomfortable.
I responded briefly that I’d been busy, thanked her again for reaching out, and kept things cordial without reopening the friendship.
I also learned that a few months earlier she had contacted one of my new employees, “Jim,” about possibly working together; he ignored her and didn’t tell me at the time to avoid tension. Knowing this made her outreach feel less genuine.
I don’t want to restart a personal relationship, but I tried to stay polite and professional.
This:
>She then sent follow-up messages that included spiritual/astrology content about our “compatibility,” suggesting I was avoidant, anxious, and needed to “prove my love,” and that the ball was in my court.
doesn’t strike me as “friend” behavior, even for close friends. She seems to be expecting more than friendship.
NTA for keeping it professional.
In the initial message, it seemed like she didn’t like how her life was going so she had done some inner work, realized the error of her ways and wanted to express that. If she had left it there, it could have been a positive moment where if you cross paths at the grocery store you would be able to be cordial and make pleasant small talk.
But she kept going and diagnosed you with random things and brought in spirituality and expected you to make the next move? It seems that this person has a very long journey ahead of them to become a well adjusted and socially appropriate person. You are well within your rights not to have any sort of part in that journey, especially since it seems like her behavior was particularly egregious for the workplace. I say NTA.
NTA. She has some loose screws.
NTA. You handled this reasonably.
NTA. When issues came up you tried to address them directly, but she calls you “avoidant”? She says you need to “prove your love”? And she tried to lure one of your employees away from the business you started? None of this behaviour is appropriate for a colleague or a stranger, never mind a friend. All good things come to an end, and it sounds like the friendship with Sadie has run its course. If she reaches out again, switch the tone from cordial to cool, and move on without her.
NTA. You don’t owe her anything.
NTA, don’t waste your time on kooky assholes.