Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I’ve B (22) been friends with A (22) for almost 5 years. It’s always been dramatic, fights, blocks, score-keeping, but we kept reconciling… until recently.
Key events:
* A blocked me for being "too clingy." While blocked, they used my saved DoorDash card to order food multiple times. I couldn’t even contact them.
* A later unblocked and wanted to be friends again. To rebuild, I offered Taylor Swift tickets. I stupidly sold them for profit instead. A was hurt; I apologized.
* A broke up with their BF and needed support. I was in a new relationship; my GF was struggling too, so I prioritized her. A got angry I wasn’t there like they (say they) were for me after lots of begging.
* Apologized again. A quickly got a new BF; I was happy for them.
* I finally asked for the money back (DoorDash charges + other things). A claimed no money… but bought a PS5 on installments for their BF. In 5 years A never gifted me once, while I did for them. A threw the tickets back: "you sold them, you don’t deserve gifts."
* Asked politely she ignored. Got frustrated/rude, threatened to tell parents or go legal. A agreed to installments, then requested a "break" for financial reasons. I gave space.
* We reconnected after the break; things seemed okay. A even asked me for advice once and we tried to reconvene our friendship.
* A moved back home. Parents learned about the money issue and told A to cut contact. A blocked me and emailed: "Parents don’t want us talking; you only come to me when you need something."
* I replied: You reached out for advice first, money only came up because you still owe me.
* A: "Parents forced the block, I wanted to be friends, but asking for money proves they’re right." Then silence.
I’ve apologized for my screw-ups (tickets), tried to give space, but A keeps dodging repayment, spends on others, and blocks whenever pressed.
AITA for insisting on getting my money back instead of dropping it to "save" the friendship? Or should I just write it off and move on?
TL;DR: Friend used my card while blocking me, owes $, I sold gifted concert tix (apologized), dodges repayment while buying BF a PS5, blocks repeatedly, blames me when parents get involved. AITA for demanding the debt?
Two choices: sue in small claims court or cut your losses and walk away. I know which I would choose
Really, this is it. No more comments needed. Nailed it.
Agreed.
NTA for demanding the money back, but “A” is NOT u/Efficient-Dream7233 ‘s friend.
OP also needs to change ALL passwords etc immediately.
You may need to move past the money. She has no intentions of ever paying you back. Not now, not ever. Find a new friend. Don’t allow access to your money,cards, food delivery apps, etc… when A decides she needs to be your friend again SAY NO!
This is a bad friendship. You might need to take them to court if you ever want that money back and you need to cut ties afterwards for good.
It seems you both are of age so if you can prove she fraudulently used your card and then I would take her to small claims court if it’s in a substantial amount of money. The gifts and everything the Taylor Swift ticket that’s just sorry for your luck. Remember the best way to lose a friend is to loan them money.
NTA. First of all… your “friend” is manipulative and seems like a one sided friendship . They used your card, owe you $2k, and keep blocking you to avoid paying while buying a PS5 for their boyfriend . They are taking full advantage of your friendship and it sheds light on the kind of person they are (user and inconsiderate) You’re not being dramatic ! you’re being reasonable .
Good grief. Kiss the money goodbye, and drop your troublesome “friend”.
NTA. Take it as a lesson that lending money to friends and family will almost always end in bad blood.
NTA. If you have any proof that she agreed to pay you the amount of money she owes you take her to small claims court. It’s an easy process. You fill out the paperwork online you pay a small fee and she served with court papers. Once you get a judgment in your favor, she will also have to pay your filing fees, as well as court costs.
NTA. Save all messages, evidence of door-dash use and her messages about blocking due to owing money. Take her to small claims court. This friendship is over, you just need to get paid what you are owed now. The concert tickets are irrelevant to your court case. Only her use of your money is, so use that in the documentation. A judge will not look kindly upon the fact that her parents ordered her to block you because she owed you money. File your court papers then cut contact until your hearing. Do not, I repeat, do not give her an opportunity to manipulate you again concerning the money. She will probably get the court summons and attempt to “work out a payment plan” with you again. You already fell for that trick once. Don’t do it again. Let the court order her to pay you. If she wants to do payments then, she will have to arrange it with the court. Also, do not settle for mediation. Take this to small claims court first thing Monday morning. Don’t contact her. Let all contact go through the court moving forward.
You don’t have a friend. You have a parasite.
Cut your losses. Forget the money, just cut them off.
Stop making bad decisions. This person has taken advantage of you in a way that could be considered criminal yet you keep welcoming their friendship? Tell her parents. Maybe they will make good her debt. Tell them how she racked up the debt on door dash without your knowledge and you are considering legal action. Maybe you’ll get your money. Then *never* let that person back in your life. Ever. Find better friends.