Using a throwaway so it’s not linked to my main.
My partner works Sunday evenings. I don’t. They tend to sleep until 15-30 minutes before they need to be at work. They’ve recently been asking if I can fill up their car with gas before they go to work on sundays because they don’t have time to get ready for work, get gas, and get to work on time.
For a while, I was doing it because it wasn’t much of a bother for me. I would take their car and go to the gas station and get snacks or drinks or go to Dunkin and get a coffee. I would also sometimes take the car while they were asleep and get gas and go to the grocery store because I had to get groceries anyways. They also didn’t ask every week, just most. I’ve also told them they should fill up before Sunday so it isn’t such a rush. Or wake up earlier. They said they would try. But I also didn’t mind doing it if I had a reason to go out.
It snowed last night through today where we live. I had no plans to go out because I don’t like driving in the snow unless I truly have to. I went to the grocery store yesterday before the snow started and I stocked up on all my drinks and snacks so I wouldn’t have to drive in the snow. I was also still in my pajamas because I was looking forward to a comfy day inside.
They asked me if I could fill their car up with gas again today. I said no, I don’t like driving in the snow especially in a car that’s not mine. They said it’s not far to the gas station and they had to get ready for work. I repeated that I don’t feel comfortable driving their car in the snow and I don’t need to go out for anything so I won’t do it.
They were upset because I refused to go out and fill up the car with gas. They left for work upset and didn’t even say goodbye and later texted me that they couldn’t fully finish getting ready for work and were a few minutes late to work because they had to stop to get gas.
AITA for not filling the car with gas before my partner went to work even though I have been doing it often in the past?
NTA, time management is part of being an adult. Your partner could get fuel another day if there somehow isn’t time on that day
NTA – your partner is actively choosing to leave their car empty and to wake up with so little time that they can’t fill up. They need to act like an adult and be responsible enough to be fully prepared for work which includes having the gas to get there.
What the heck is going on? Why don’t they fill up their tanks when they see it getting low like normal people. NTA
NTA
And stop doing it all together. There’s no reason they can’t do it the evening before.
And they do have time. They’re just choosing to use it to sleep.
If they’re choosing to sleep until 15 minutes before they need to get ready, knowing they have extra things to do before work, they have made the decision to screw over their own morning. That’s not your problem. NTA.
Why didn’t they stop and fill the car with gas on their way home from work the last time they worked? It is incredibly lazy to ask your partner to fill up your car with gas, so that you can sleep until the very last minute, when you had plenty of opportunities to do it yourself.
This right here ☝️
INFO: Why isn’t your partner getting gas on their way home if they know there’s not enough to get to work the next day?
*Edited to add judgement after OP’s response:*
NTA. Your partner chose to put off their responsibilities and failed to make any accommodations to address it. Then they got angry at you for not bailing them out of the situation they created and even blamed you for the consequences of their own piss poor decisions. These are not the behaviors of an emotionally mature adult or a good partner.
They say they are tired after work. Which I get, I feel that way sometimes as well. But I make sure I wake up early enough to get ready, get gas, and then go to work on time.
You should let your SO know that car can be filled up when gas tank is at 25%, 50%, 75%, and all in between. Oh and it can be filled up at any hour of the day and at any day of the week.