So, for context, him (19M) and I (18F) were playing a game on Roblox called flicker which is pretty much a murder mystery game. (We’ll call him Ethan) I usually dress as a guy because when I dress as a girl it’s more likely that ill get voted out or killed but he had asked me to dress as a girl so I did. I had gotten the role of clown which means you want everyone to vote you out because that gives you the ability to kill people. Usually when I’m clown ill just act a little more annoying than usual so that people aren’t suspicious of me bit they still want to vote me out. I was simply just talking to my friend and I guess talking a lot more in chat than I usually would so that people would vote me out and he jokingly told me to shut up and so I acted sad about it which is just something we do and some other random guy (we’ll call him Jack) tells me to shut up and tells me I’m annoying which is whatever, people do that regardless of if I’m a girl or a guy because people hate other people with loud personalities so I was used to that. Anyway my plan of annoying people had worked because I got voted out. As clown you can kill one person so I chose to kill Jack cause he was pretty rude to me. When you die in the game you get turned into a ghost and the living people can’t see you but you can see them and other dead people so when he died he became a ghost and started insulting me and said I was a “chopped hoe”. And of course I was pissed, not because of what he called me, I’m not an insecure person because obviously he had never seen my face before. I was pissed because I had never been called a name like that when I was dressed as a guy. So I’m telling Ethan all this and this is how the text conversation goes:
**Me:** “See why I don’t dress as a girl in this game? Its always like this.” **Ethan**: “Can we play something else?” **Me**: “Idc if people vote me when I’m dressed as a guy cause they’re not voting me because I’m a man, they’re voting me because I’m talking a lot. When I dress as a girl people vote me because I’m a girl, pisses me the fuck off and then people wonder why I fucking hate men.” **Ethan**: ”Hm okay. Why are you blaming just us though. That’s kinda weird. Women do the same thing not to mention.”**Me**: “I have never had a girl call me something like that.” **Ethan**: “Still they do.”**Me**: “But it’s so common in men to be sexist and they don’t even know it.” **Ethan**: “Don’t hate on just men because of that.” **Me**: “I never said girls don’t.” **Ethan**: “Weird behavior ~~my name.”~~ **Me**: “I don’t hate all men, I have lots of guys that I love, I just say men as a general term. And you’re never gonna get it because you’re not a girl Ethan.” **Ethan**: “k, whatever you say.”
It’s just the fact that instead of comforting his friend that just got insulted he decided to argue with me and pretty much tell me “not all men are like that.”Yeah I fucking know that Ethan, if I really hated all men I wouldn’t talk to you.
YTA- Over a game? you guys are grown, I thought this was a serious situation irl lmao
I don’t agree with this take. Cyberbullying is a very serious problem, especially in games like Roblox. You can make the argument that being insulted that way is worse in person, but that doesn’t make it any less offensive for OP.
Ethan also blatantly ignored the other user’s sexist behavior. Instead of condemning it, he seemed indifferent towards it in his messages with OP. Someone who is blind to sexism online is still a sexist irl, so I would argue that this was still a serious situation.
Fair point lol, but to me it’s the principle that my friend wouldn’t stand up for someone who was just insulted, especially his friend
Why is it his responsibility to be your white knight? Fend for yourself. It’s a long life.
The conversation was after we had already left the game, I didn’t expect him to talk to the guy or anything, I expected him to be on my side against sexism. If he’s not part of the solution he’s part of the problem.
It’s a pvp game. Why do you care if someone throws an insult your way. You don’t know them. They don’t know you. Ignore them. Most likely they are trying to get you to react. I say this as a female gamer.
I am curious why Ethan even wanted you to dress your avatar as a girl in the first place. It seems like a very odd request.
I also think that men using slurs for women is sexist whereas a woman using that word would be far less offensive. Obviously if a man or a woman uses it to insult someone, it is offensive, but when a man says it, it is far more offensive.
Like you said, I can see where Ethan could be coming from, but I still view him as the AH in this situation. He got caught up in semantics (after you said you hated men) at a time when you wanted to be comforted after being insulted. He also didn’t do anything to make you feel better after, which suggests that he was indifferent to how you were treated.
NTA, OP.
You lost me at Roblox.
Holy wall of text!