My friend and I are in a university lab class together. The way these classes work at my university is that there are about 70 students in the class, but we are divided into groups of 12 and assigned a supervising professor who guides us through completing an experiment that lasts for 6 weeks. This means that we work in very close contact with the professor, which is a huge difference from most other classes in our major. Another difference from most other classes is that, instead of meeting for one hour 2-3x a week, we meet once a week for three hours.
My friend and I were in the same experiment group. On the first week of class, our group was supposed to draft a form explaining what our hypothesis and objective were, what materials would be needed, etc. About halfway through class, my friend started asking if we could leave early. I told her we were supposed to finish drafting the form before we left. She kept asking variations of this question every couple of minutes. I thought she was acting unprofessionally, especially since this was our first meeting with the supervising professor, so I told her to cut it out.
Of course, I don’t remember exactly what was said, but you can imagine something like this:
Friend: Can we leave soon?
Me: You need to stop saying that.
Eventually the professor explained that YES, we did have to complete the form before leaving class.
She gave me the silent treatment afterward for a few days, so I checked in on her. She told me that the reason she wanted to leave class early was because her dad was recovering from surgery and she was worried about him. This was new to me. I apologized and said I would’ve been more understanding if I’d known. I thought this would be the end of it, but she’s now telling mutual friends that I treated her disrespectfully in the lab class.
AITA?
NTA – She can’t expect you to read minds.
But who was she asking? You or the professor? If she was asking the professor, you’ve probably should have stayed out of it and let the professor deal with it.
I’m pretty sure she was addressing me, since at least some of the times she asked, the professor was talking to somebody else.
Then tell her to ask the professor. It’s their call, not yours. You really have no say in the matter. Especially in terms of if it would affect her grade or not.
NTA, seems like she either didn’t want to say it infront of everyone (unsure why, seems like the professor would have even been understanding) or she came up with the lie later on. either way NTA- she knew how long the class was scheduled for. she could have very easily had a private conversation with you or the professor to explain and not have even have to go to begin with.
NTA. She has a good reason for wanting to leave, but she’s not voicing that. She is indeed acting unprofessional. She should have said something like “Can I leave early? I have an ill family member I need to tend to.” Or better yet, discuss this with the professor ahead of time.
She’s being disruptive with how she’s making these requests. It takes away from the focus on what you all are doing and it makes her look lazy and uncommitted. You did her a favor by pointing out that she needs to stop doing this.
YTA
NTA
Though you should have told her to ask the professor, not you. If she had a valid reason she should have taken it up with her/him.
NTA. You had no knowledge of her situation and she was being petulant in that moment. She should’ve talked to the professor. It’s not your job to tell her whether she can leave early or not. Ridiculous.