New account because I don’t use Reddit but I need an outside opinion. I (22F) love ketchup. I know most people like ketchup on fries or a burger, but I love ketchup. I put it on everything. I know this is probably weird to some people, but I just like the taste and think it works well with everything. Honestly, I don’t think I’m the asshole here, but maybe you’ll see something I’m missing.
My roommate (22M) has recently brought up my ketchup habits. We have a joking, sibling relationship and I thought he was just joking when he complained about my use of ketchup for breakfast. I was having beans on toast and I put some ketchup on top, as one does. When he complained, I put more ketchup on my toast, but then when I started eating, he started gagging. I thought he was kidding, so I laughed and just kept eating my food. But then he ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. Like actually throwing up because I was eating beans on toast with ketchup.
I told him he was being dramatic, but he called me an asshole who didn’t give a shit about him. I have no idea where this is coming from, I thought we were friends. The only previous problem he’s threatened to move out over (jokingly) was when I kept moving my taxidermied guinea pig around the apartment to scare him. It was over April Fools and it ended up being super funny.
Obviously, I haven’t stopped eating my food with ketchup, but he won’t stop mentioning it. It’s gotten to the point where he won’t eat in the same room as me anymore. If he walks into the kitchen and I’m eating, he’ll go back to his room and wait until I’ve put my dishes in the sink. The other day (and I might be the asshole for this, but I just want him to act normal again) he was eating at the kitchen table. I was making food, and got my ketchup out of the fridge. I could see him side eyeing me, so when I walked over to put the ketchup on the table, I quickly squirted some on his plate. I don’t think it even touched that much of his food, but he stood up and exploded at me. He kept yelling about how I was inconsiderate and ruined his dinner, even though it was only a tiny bit on one side of his plate. I started crying because of him yelling at me and he just got quiet and went to his room.
We haven’t really spoken since, and it’s been super awkward around the apartment. This morning I woke up to a text from him saying he was going to be moving out as soon as he found a place, and that he had texted a mutual friend who could take over his half of the lease. But how do I fix this?
You fucked with his food! NEVER do anything to someone else’s food!
YTA
YTA Sorry but you are. You know your ketchup use is grossing him out and you thought it was funny to squirt some on his plate? You own him a huge, sincere apology.
Yes, YTA. He clearly has an issue with ketchup. I can see if someone is sick of smelling something all the time they become adverse to it. Instead of being an adult and respectful you escalated and put it on his plate. How do you fix this? You don’t, let him move out, and really learn from this. Hopefully the next roommate won’t care, but either way don’t screw with people or their food.
YTA for squirting ketchup on his plate. Ketchup obviously turns his stomach but you did it anyway. It was thoughtless and childish.
I don’t think you can fix it. You crossed a line and he’s done.
YTA for squirting it on his plate. You knew it really bothered him. It wasn’t funny, he isn’t laughing.
Yes, ketchup combined with certain foods can smell and look gross. You should have left him alone about it and given him space. But this isn’t about the ketchup, it’s about how you don’t understand boundaries and that your “pranking” has just ruined your friendship.
Leave him alone until he moves out? Figure out how to resolve conflict instead of responding it like an 8 year old younger sibling?
YTA for putting it on his plate. Escalated a conflict for no reason TWICE while being told at every step of the way that you were crossing a line
YTA. You sound insufferable. Purposely doing things that you know will upset your roommate is 100% asshole behavior.
Hard to believe you’re 22 years old because you act like a damn child. YTA.
YTA
You know how you don’t fix it? You don’t fix it by squirting a food that makes your friend throw up onto their plate.
You’re just an asshole
Whoa, I was on your side until I got to the part about the taxidermy guinea pig.
Listen, I am your opposite. I *hate* ketchup. Always did as a kid, and nothing changed as an adult. But I would never react to a person eating ketchup the way your roommate did, and in fact your roommate’s reaction is so beyond over-the-top for a food preference that there just *has* to be something more to this than “he’s being dramatic.” A food dislike does not cause a person to run to the bathroom and vomit, so at a minimum, at that point your best response would’ve been to go “whoa, I didn’t realize this was a serious thing for you, how can we move forward?” and then *listen to what he has to say* and actually figure out what makes sense so you can eat your ketchup and he doesn’t have to be in a room with a food that disgusts him to this degree. I was already raising my eyebrow when you showed zero concern that this is a serious issue…and then we got to the guinea pig.
When you know something scares somebody, even if it doesn’t scare *you* or if you think it shouldn’t scare them, you do not use it to taunt them. It’s not funny. I believe it was funny to you, but it sounds like it might not have been funny to your roommate.
And WTF were you *thinking* putting ketchup on his fucking dinner plate?! You cannot tell me you’re dense enough to watch someone have such a dramatic reaction to ketchup and then think he’ll be super amused by you squirting it on his plate. You *did* ruin his dinner. Your opportunity to fix this was probably with a serious, good-faith conversation the first time he reacted strongly to ketchup; but unfortunately, I don’t think you and this person are roommates/friends anymore, and it sounds like that’s for the best.
Initially I was going to say E S H because his reaction was unnecessary and over-the-top, but by writing out that summary, I’ve worked myself around to YTA.
Dude. You know how it makes him feel and you ruined his meal for what, fun? Did you except him to enjoy it? How is bullying him supposed to repair your relationship? YTA
YTA he removed himself from the situation he didn’t like and you got petty and squeezed Ketchup onto his food to “make him act normal”
Maybe he’d be better off moving out. Also extra AH points for the taxidermy thing, that’s just really mean.
YTA. You know it grosses him out, so why the hell would you put it on his plate? Grow up. He didn’t ban ketchup from the house or tell you to stop eating it; the fact that you were bothered by him having an uncontrollable reaction is really weird, and forcing it on him was so out of line and juvenile.
YTA
I wouldn’t be able to eat with you either.
You thought he was kidding at first, fine.
But then you call him dramatic as he’s puking? That’s where you became the AH. He’s having a physical reaction that is likely beyond his control, and you think he’s dramatic?
The irony of you calling him dramatic is that you fail to recognize that you’re the one causing drama by being an obnoxious AH about it.
And then squirting it on his plate? What an AH move. I would have exploded too.
You’re not friends. You don’t know what that means. Don’t be surprised when he doesn’t renew his lease.