My(32M) dad is bedridden and incontinent in his 80s. My mom is still in her 60s. She cleans him when he defecates himself (a couple of times a week). I am here sitting with him and he defecated himself in his Depends.. She will be home in about 30 minutes and I don’t feel up to cleaning his defecation. I am kind of feeling a little guilty for letting him sit in his Depends but he makes more of a mess when we move him to a commode. I used to move him to the commode regularly and give him toilet paper when he was doing better.
He and the home help nurse kind of look at me weirdly when I don’t want to clean him. But I just can’t really bring myself to do it. I care for him but I am thinking that my mom, his wife, who sees him naked is better suited for the job. I just can’t bring myself to do it. AITAH?
YTA. If you are “watching” anyone who is not competent to watch themselves (be it a baby or a dementia patient), then you are responsible for caring for them. Fecal material is damaging to skin. Do not accept the job if you aren’t going to bother to do it.