For context I am 21 and in college. My friends (group of 8) are all between 19 and 23 and have been friends since high-school mostly.
We go out often to restaurants and fast food restaurants where we sit inside to eat.
They have a habit of yelling loud towards each other when commenting on the food and joking, along with being semi-obnoxious edgy type people who seem like they are purposely being loud to get noticed and put on an image. They recently bought this game called cards against humanity which is some type of sex game I believe (I am not sure fully because I ignore them while they draw it at the tables). They play this loudly and on top of that are always acting obnoxious in tone.
A few weeks ago my friend even dropped a chair and then later demanded to the restaurant owners about the table being dirty and for them to clean it instead of doing it himself (It was barely a mess), not to mention there were many empty tables.
We are also all Middle Eastern ethnically and a lot of the restaurants we go to are East Asian ones. I’m not trying to make this racial but our communities aren’t exactly the friendliest with each other so I feel some initiative to be a good person for everyone to properly represent us.
I confronted them about this finally as we were on a walk the other day and 6 of them were offended and saying that I’m overanalyzing and being a little bitch and to cut it out. Their responses were loaded with ego and disregard but apparently I’m the bad guy.
I should add for context that I’m not saying they shouldn’t be doing what they are, just that it’s out of context in these specific places.
Thoughts?
These people are not your friends they suck how you treat service people says a lot about you reconsider your friendships
Your friends’ public behavior sounds rude and offensive. And clearly they are behaving this way for attention, not unlike unruly middle school children. Given your current level of maturity, I wonder if you’ve outgrown them? In any case, I don’t think I’d be going out in public with them if I were you.
Perhaps these old friends will gain maturity and a modicum of social sense as they get older — and maybe they won’t. But I suspect you’d be a lot happier if your were to cultivate some new friends whose poise, considerateness, social awareness, and maturity are more in line with your own.
NTA
NTA, your “friends” sound annoying.
(But the game is really fun tho, you might want to try it out)
It’s fun but not something you’d play in a restaurant!
NTA
Whilst Cards Against Humanity isn’t a sex game, it’s certainly an adult game with some themes that could offend other diners, especially those dining with younger families. A restaurant isn’t the venue for a loud ‘game night’ either way.
It also goes without saying that there is never an excuse to be rude or obnoxious to wait/bar staff and your friends need to learn better manners.
Your friends sound immature, insecure and performative.
NTA
To be blunt your friends sound like immature assholes. You did the right thing confronting them about it.
Maybe time to start expanding your friendship group?
ESH
They are immature kids, a group of 8 with ages between 19 and 23. It’s not abnormal for them to be obnoxious, and loud during their downtime together (regardless of ethnicity). And, yes, that person is definitely the AH for the stunt they pulled with the wait staff. They need to do a bit of growing up.
You don’t sound like you like them very much, or enjoy their company anymore. As others mentioned, you might’ve outgrown them already. On that note, your choice of word in “confronted” is interesting. If I were you, I would reflect on why this was a confrontation to me, instead of me simply flagging to them what and why I was uncomfortable with something they did.
When I was in that age group, I was a fair bit similar with a stick up a little too deep for me to realise it was there. So, my advice to you is to ask yourself if you, honestly, still want to be friends with these people. If you are not, and you’ve outgrown them, it’s time to move on. It will hurt everyone, including you, but you’ll all be better off in the long run. If you still want to be friends with them, you’ll have to learn to set, and respect, boundaries. And to live and let live.
NTA. cards Against Humanity is a blast but is not meant for playing in public. Your friends are immature and obnoxious and a good part of the reason I don’t like to leave the house anymore. Good on ya for speaking up, now it’s time to ditch the overgrown teenagers and find some new friends.
Damn, cards against humanity was already cringe 10 years ago
NTA but sounds like you need new friends. You dont have to abandon them but I was just reflecting on a rough patch I went through with my high school friends in my early twenties. In high school I couldn’t believe the stuff we did and we had so much fun, but then as we got older the stuff became more and more reckless that I had to stop going out with them. Fast forward and we are still friends, I really enjoy their company, it just took them some time to grow up, just like it took me some time in other areas of my life.
You’re outgrowing your friends happens to everyone keep on the right path bro
NTA Cards against Humanity isn’t a sex game, but it has some very rude, very inappropriate humour in general, and shouldn’t be played in most public places. The unfortunate truth is that race doesn’t matter here, most people are prudes and don’t want to hear that sort of language, and especially not in a restaurant with their family or young children.
They also don’t seem like good friends, but that’s your decision and only an opinion.