Hey myself (27M) and my wife (26F). When we go out, mostly she keeps this tote bag which comes with a lot of space, so sometimes I put my stuff (wallet, keys, receipts etc) in it.
And I put a power bank in her purse as well, as I use iPhone 12 mini whose battery sucks. Fair enough, I’ve absolutely no issues in carrying her bag (I usually take it for like 20-30% of time, no issues if the number rises).
Her single sister (24F) lives nearby and a sometimes we all hang out together. She’s developing this habit of trying to handle her tote bag to me as well. I took it out of courtesy for first 2-3 times but I don’t want it to become a norm.
I don’t want to be a pack mule of the group. Apart from the discomfort, it affects the outing experience too. At first I asked my wife to help me with it via communicating with her sis but I couldn’t see any difference.
So the next time (very recent) when se again tried to pass me her bag I just told her I don’t want to (ofc in a respectable tone). It worked but later that day, my wife said it was a kinda bitchy move from my side as both the sisters were trying out some clothes.
I mentioned her about how it usually goes. Also, two sisters can manage each other’s bags while trying out the outfits. AITA? It ended kinda awkward as if I was being petty
NTA. Infrequent ask is fine but a regular thing by SIL is not okay. As long as you said it nicely, you’re fine.
If it’s too much for her, tell her to get a rolling bag.
NTA you’re not her porter
Tell her to carry it herself. You’re not her valet…NTA.
NTA. I would be annoyed to.
Suggestion: talk to your wife about maybe not handing her bag over to you when you both are around your SIL. It would be super awkward for SIL to hand you her bag if her sister hasn’t.
And even if she tries to? You and your wife can both give her a very confused look. Going through that a couple of times should dissuade her enough to stop it altogether.
How about you each carry your own stuff?
NTA.
A grownup woman can manage her own bag while trying on clothing. Otherwise I would have been in trouble for the last 50+ years.
Well said. I would never ask my husband to carry my tote.
Sounds just like the water bottle AITAH I read recently…..
Has your wife ever prevented you from putting stuff in her bad because she doesn’t want to carry your wallet, receipts, keys, power bank, and god knows what else? Cuz she could. But she’s just being kind. You should learn from her. Sure, you don’t need to carry SIL’s stuff all the time, but like they’re trying clothes? That’s the classic time when you’d end up with the bag/purse.
NTA.
Idk call me weird but I wouldn’t ask anyone else’s husband to hold my purse unless it was to like tie my shoe or if I was trying to readjust the things in my hand. And even then I’d ask my friend/sister first.
It’s giving she’s trying to cosplay having a husband. When the reason you’re carrying the bag is because it’s also holding your stuff…. it’s weird
NTA. At all.
I mean if shes asking you to tote it like you would your wife. NTA. If you’re sitting there waiting while they try on clothes then i think that would make you an AH.
Info: are you talking about carrying her bag while walking around, or watching it temporarily while the two women are trying on clothes?
INFO: You said:
>So the next time (very recent) when se again tried to pass me her bag I just told her I don’t want to (ofc in a respectable tone). It worked but later that day, my wife said it was a kinda bitchy move from my side as both the sisters were trying out some clothes.
So, the sister wasn’t expecting you to carry her bag everywhere, but was handing it to you before she went into a changing room to try on clothes with your wife?