My relatives (Not nuclear), with the neighbor’s permission planted a few trees into their yard. The neighbors sublet their property to someone who didn’t know how to care for the trees and one of them was looking sad and dying. Let’s call her Jane.
I frequently go to my relatives’ house and the neighbor at the sublet saw I was taking care of a tree at my relatives’ house which I’d given them. I had been trying several years to graft the tree to fruit. I used the internet to do so, because I’d only watched it on TV once and read it in books and there can be species differences in grafting. I also volunteer at a garden org. Their neighbor and I were chatting about her sad semi dying trees which were now her sole responsibility as it was on her property line. Over the years of her being there my relatives had not helped Jane at all with the trees they’d planted, paid for pruning or help. She wanted help.
I offered to help since I knew how to do it. I’d been responsible for pruning my parents’ yard since really young (they hired a pro gardener after I left). I’ve gotten roses to bloom in the dead of winter. Over the course of time their neighbor and I talked about it, what she wanted specifically and I volunteered to help for free. I spent months researching the specific tree types and pruning them.
I looped in \[F\] relative, Ali, and told her that I’d conferred with neighbor and neighbor agreed to a tree pruning. Jane also would be open to having her trees also done when theirs was done. I also told Eustace (husband of Ali) she was open to them being pruned at the same time.
That time came around and my relatives did theirs, but not hers. I felt bad for neighbor and the trees. So I waited for a good tree pruning day, asked neighbor that day to really check permission, confirmed it would be free. She said I could do what I wanted and she trusted me. I spent the entire day doing it.
Ali knew I had permission and thought they really needed it, but didn’t have expertise.
Eustace thought I didn’t have permission, but I said I did. I pruned the trees Eustace didn’t offer to help. Eustace, got mad at me for pruning "his" trees in a way he wouldn’t have done it. He accused me of only looking things up on the internet and that I had no practical experience.
I corrected him, telling him I had real experience. He is still upset.
AITA?
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So your relative was happy looking at the sad dying tree then? NTA. It’s on the neighbor’s property, they gave permission, the end.
NTA. You had permission, and the party responsible for planting the trees was doing nothing to care for them.
NTA. If the neighbor was responsible for pruning and caring for the trees all this time, and the trees were on her property, there’s no reason you’d even really need to tell your relatives about the pruning (it’s not like Jane was getting their permission to care for the trees, right?)
Eustace can stuff it.
These are not his trees, not his property, and it has nothing to do with him now.
NTA
It really comes down to “Who is responsible for these trees?”
If he wants it to be him, he needs to actually give a fuck about those trees and put in effort on them, which he is NOT doing.
So ask him who is responsible for the trees. If he says him, apologize profusely for touching his trees, then give him a ton of shit for neglecting his trees.
You did him a favor, he needs to apologize and take the favor.
If he wants it to be Jane, then… Jane took responsibility for those trees by “hiring” you. He needs to shut the fuck up.