I 15 got mad at my mom for constantly mot having enough food to provide for me and my siblings and she got upset and acts like I’m in the wrong by ignoring me.
I have 4 siblings which means my mom has 5 kids to provide for as well as my father. My dad works 9-5 and has a good paying job but it just isn’t enough because my mom is a stay at home mom.
My mom uses the money from my dad’s paycheck and family members to buy us groceries but she always comes back with unnecessary shit instead of actual groceries, like she’ll buy exotic fruit, so then we go weeks without enough food since she spent it all on bs mind you a household of 7 people on ONE paycheck. My dad constantly confronts her about this and she starts crying and getting upset. Unfortunately my dad isn’t man enough to actually do something about the situation so the cycle repeats.
Now we desperately need groceries and we will probably have to go a week before we get actual food. I confronted her about this and I explained to her that it’s her fault this has happened and that she needs to fix it. She starts dismissing it and telling me to stop talking about it. She starts doing that whole “you’re talking back” thing… it feels really necessary to talk to her about it right now since my siblings keep complaining they’re hungry. But when I mention it to her she immediately goes into self pity and brings up old trauma. Like I know there’s nothing she can do about it now cuz the money is already done but I wanted to see her at least try to change her ways. But no instead she’s gonna beg her family for money just to buy shit again.
I’ve been eating one meal a day my siblings have school lunch so they get all three. But idk maybe I’m just ungrateful?
Is this something kids can’t discuss with their parents? Idk I just think it’s crazy.
NTA. Your dad is if he keeps allowing this to happen.
Please talk to a teacher to ask for resources to feed yourself and your family. You should be getting free lunch too
NTA, you need to talk to a counselor at school and tell them what’s going on. Sounds like your mom should not have access to the bank account, and someone else needs to get groceries.
I mean why are you confronting your mom about something your dad is allowing? I know people like to spew the whole it’s OUR money when the dynamic is like that but your father has full control to stop this and he won’t.
Yeah OP needs to talk to their father, not their mother
NTA! Tell a counsellor or teacher! This is neglect! If your family actually doesn’t have enough money there are services like food banks. In the USA there is SNAP and WIC (if they still exist IDK with the current government). You should not be eating only once a day! It should be the parents going hungry not the kids!
They do still exist, it’s just harder to get on them and stay on them. Given the size of their family and the single paycheck they should be good SNAP candidates if they’re in the US. (Source: I work in food systems advocacy.)
If you are not in school, or even if you are, you can call child protective services to get some help for you and your sibs.
NTA, I did all kinds of shit I didn’t want to do to make sure my sons were fed. Whatever discomfort I felt meant nothing compared to feeding my kids and making them feel secure. They’re grown now and I can go back to being a weirdo, but any time they need me, I don’t count for shit. Only my children matter
NTA. I had an emotionally manipulative mom who cried and/or screamed when confronted. Your mom possibly has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This cannot be stressed enough: the villain is the one letting her kids go hungry. It seems she does not have enough self-respect to take her job as a provider seriously, but she has enough self-regard to do whatever she wants and not care how it affects others.
NTA. You can report this as abuse/neglect.
NTA: I would be calling CPS or DFS on them. Your mom is not providing basic necessities (she could even go to food banks if she worried about her kids) and your dad is a push over bum who although works, doesn’t take care of his kids either.
Also, talk to a guidance counselor at school. They can probably send bagged lunches home
It’s your parents responsibility to provide enough food. Can your parents apply for food stamps? Can you try to meal plan/ make a grocery list for your mom? You shouldn’t HAVE to do that but in a desperate situation anything is worth trying. Lastly, what others have said, tell the school guidance counselor and report to child protective services. CPS will send an agent to your home. If they find the complaint is legit they will likely connect your family support services. Also look for local food banks.
Interesting that no one is suggesting helping mom make better choices… ask if you can help with menu planning and making a shopping list based on that.