So I need an outside perspective because my dad says I was cruel, but I honestly feel relieved.
For context:
My dad is in his 50s and has never cooked a meal in his life. My mom does all the cooking, and when she gets angry because she is tired of doing chores all day with cooking he taunts her or complains instead of helping. I’ve been cooking since I was 12, so when my mom doesn’t feel well or is busy, I usually step in.
My brother is 13 and also expects either my mom or me to cook for him. My mom does sometimes tell them to cook, but she always gives in and ends up doing it herself, so nothing ever changes.
Recently, my mom went out of town for 3 days. I decided I wasn’t going to enable this anymore. I made my dad and brother cook for themselves for the first time ever.
Important detail:
I didn’t leave them with nothing. Rice and quinoa were already cooked. They only had to make:
1. 2 omelettes
2. fried potatoes
So… very basic food.
They did manage to cook it. Nobody starved. Nothing got ruined.
But my dad absolutely lost it. He scolded me and said I was “four times worse than my mom”. He acted like I’d done something unforgivable.
Meanwhile, I actually feel relieved because for once I didn’t cover for their behavior or take on responsibility that shouldn’t be mine.
So… AITA for forcing them to cook instead of doing it myself like always?
Dad is 50 and never cooked a meal in his life? NTA.
You are absolutely NTA! Cooking is a life skill everyone should know how to do. It’s deplorable a 50 rear old would complain about having to cook his own meal and he is also setting your brother up for learned helplessness. It’s pure laziness and entitlement on Dad’s part. Good for you and shame on him!
Well done.
You did well to withstand your father’s irrational anger.
NTA – unless this is all fabricated
NTA
Well done, your dad may never change, but your brother needs to learn equality, and simple task like, cook for himself, laundry, wipe his ass.
Queen 👑
NTA you’re a hero. If your dad and brother can’t cook for themselves, they can go buy some food or they need to be placed in daycare cause they are little children.
Your dad us so misogynistic and your brother is following in his footsteps. I’d just never cook for them.
NTA your dad is acting like a child
Nah, don’t do that. I know children younger than OP’s brother that can feed themselves or make meals. I was pretty handy in the kitchen by the time I was 13.
NTA. I’m sorry that’s your home life experience, watching your dad treat your mom so poorly and raise his son to think women are there to take care of him. thats not real life, thats not how it really is.
good for you for not cooking, i’m proud of you!
NTA. The fact that your dad reacted with anger instead of embarrassment tells you everything. Cooking basic food is a life skill, not a favor women owe men.
I am a firm believer that everyone should know how to cook at least one meal. It can be Hamburgers on the grill and French fries from the freezer,
Scrambled eggs and toast, or boiling water and making pasta and opening a jar of pasta sauce.
The problem here is your father believes coming is women’s work and until he can see that cooking like eating is and should be done by both men and womenthis will be a fight every time.
Your NTA, but you’re not likely to change his mind. Good luck.
My non verbal autistic 6 year old knows how to fetch his own snacks if he wants to…definitely NTA.
Nta women don’t exist to serve men, and they’d do well to learn this as well as how to cook.
NTA. Your father is a chauvinist and is teaching your brother to be the same.
NTA, cooking is a life skill and your brother needs how to do at least do the basics. Your dad might be a lost cause though