Okay something to note is that everyone in this story was at least tipsy at the time of it occurring. I 18F went out with 7 other friends tonight. A person we went out with let’s call Jane is one of the people I connect with the most because we have a similar vibe and are the only queer people in the group. Jane has a partner and has expressed that they don’t like going out to the club just pregaming and drinking with friends. Everything was going fine but it got pretty late before we rallied to go to a nearby club. The line was moderately long and we got separated into a group that was 2 others, me, and Jane. The other 4 were behind. The 2 others we were in line with went ahead to try and skip the line and made it into the club together. Jane expressed that she didn’t want to wait and was going to leave and get food. I asked her not to leave me and she stepped out of line and found the 4 others who joined me in line. We tried to convince her to stay but she left. I felt really bad leaving her. One of people I was now with forgot their ID so we stepped out of line and they went back to our pregame spot to grab it. I decided I would go find Jane and stay with her rather than going into the club alone or heading back to help find our friend’s ID. When I found Jane I got food with her and was a little annoyed that she left. I cant remember exactly what I said but from what she said later I was probably complaining that she has a partner and doesn’t care for clubbing but it’s really fun for me and I was upset I didn’t go in. She cut me off and said she was annoyed that I was complaining and would rather eat alone than have me complain. I thought this was really forward and we had over a 20 minute talk/argument. I said that I’m the type of person who doesn’t think it’s okay to leave your friends ever even if you prefer not to do something in the moment and she was saying that everyone was fine without her and she didn’t want to limit anyone so she left. I said that sometimes it feels like it’s about what she wants to do and not the group and she got pretty upset and was openly angry/annoyed with me. I tried to end on a good-ish note but she was openly annoyed at me and had called an uber back to her apartment which is really close to mine. She asked if I was coming and I figured it was best to go home rather than attempt the club alone. I ubered with her in silence(she was talking to the driver) and just left when we arrived. AITA? I feel really weird about the whole situation!n but I don’t think it was right of her to be so annoyed at me when from my pov I was just a little upset I wasn’t going to have a good time at the club. I know I chose to go be with her but to me when there’s a friend whose alone its not really a decision whether to leave them alone or not because you should always support them especially when they’re by themselves downtown. Any advice appreciated and I’m happy to answer questions. Thanks
YTA for the formatting of one gigantic paragraph. Good lord.
Agreed, and I didn’t even read it
you have to respect people’s choices. you wouldn’t like to go somewhere you don’t feel comfortable.
Of course YTA. You know she doesn’t want to go. Who cares what you want
Yta
Yta
YTA. Jane didn’t ask you to leave. She didn’t feel like clubbing anymore and instead of bringing down the mood she decided to go get something to eat instead. You could have gone to the club with the rest of your friends or you could have tried to find the other two friends once you got inside. You made the choice to follow her instead and then ruined her meal with your whining.
YTA.
She didn’t want to to clubbing and left, you weren’t on your own.
I’ve left nights out when I’m not feeling it and text my friends to say I got home okay.
Jeez, you could have gone clubbing without her. Other friend were with you. But you insisted on going with her and complained in order to guilt her. It’s your own fault you didn’t go to the club. YTA
YTA, how is it even a question? She just wasnt up for clubbing and didnt want to bring yall down and went to do her own thing. You follow her, then complain to her about her leaving and that you wanted to go clubbing after making the decision to follow her? Shes also allowed to go or do whatever she wants and doesnt need a “friend” to follow her just to complain and argue. In what world could you not be the asshole? Have some self-awareness
YTA. Jane made it clear that she doesn’t like clubbing from the get go. It’s completely okay for friends to split off if they’re not into the activity. You went off with her, and then brought her night down by complaining nonstop about her very valid choice. If you wanted to go to the club, you should have gone to the club, instead of haranguing your friend about the fact that she didn’t.
YTA Jane did not ask you to leave and you didn’t even initially leave with her so don’t even pretend you left for her. .you were with several other people you could have stayed with and gone clubbing. Jane doesn’t owe you anything and doesn’t have to go clubbing if she doesn’t want to