I (24M) live with my parents and my younger brother (20M). Over the past year, my family has gotten into the habit of using my things without asking. This includes my clothes, headphones, snacks, and even my phone charger. Every time I bring it up, they brush it off and say things like, “We’re family, it’s not a big deal.”
The breaking point for me was when I bought an expensive pair of headphones with my own money. I keep them in my room because I don’t want them damaged or lost. A few days later, I found them on my brother’s desk with scratches on them. When I confronted him, he said he just borrowed them and didn’t think it mattered.
I told him that borrowing without asking wasn’t okay, especially for things I paid for myself. He got defensive and said I was being selfish and overprotective. My parents backed him up and told me I should learn to share and stop being so possessive.
After that, I started locking my bedroom door whenever I leave the house and moved my personal items into my room. When my parents noticed, they said I was creating tension in the house and acting like I don’t trust my own family. They also said locking my door is disrespectful.
I don’t mind sharing if someone asks first. What bothers me is that they take my stuff and then make me feel like I’m wrong for being upset about it. I feel like this is the only way I can set a boundary without constantly arguing.
Now my brother is annoyed, and my parents think I’m being dramatic.
So, AITA for locking my room because my family won’t stop using my things without asking?
NTA. You’re an adult. Your family should ask you before borrowing your things. You and your brother aren’t little kids who share toys. You’re grown men with your own property.
Sounds like it’s time to find a place of your own (if feasible.)
NTA , but time for you to move out. Otherwise you are stuck in your childhood forever, with parents telling you ” learn sharing” lol
NTA
You are 24. Move out.
Not so easy in today’s economy.
NTA. Start taking their stuff
It’s time for you to move out.
>When my parents noticed, they said I was creating tension in the house and acting like I don’t trust my own family. They also said locking my door is disrespectful.
How dare you not trust the people who keep stealing from you. It’s so disrespectful of you not to just put up with their VERY respectful behaviour of taking things that don’t belong to them! /s
NTA, tell your family if they want to be respected and trusted then they need to earn that from you. Those are privileges, not givens.
NTA
Move out. Nothing will change until you move out and place boundaries. NTA
NTA. I would have told your parents, “Yes, I don’t trust you when people come into my personal space and take whatever they want without asking.”
But you don’t trust them, so just tell them that’s true “You people cannot be trusted so this is what I need to do”
NTA
“I’m not acting like anything. I don’t trust you. You guys keep breaking/damaging my stuff”
…then go grab something of theirs and say “so, I drop this now and break it. Is that ok? …or don’t you like to share?”
NTA. At all.
Their behaviour is not cool.
NTA. You are right to have boundaries. I admire you for being willing to share if you are asked first, though it’s not right for your brother to borrow your headphones, with or without permission and then damage them.
Is there any possibility you could move out? Maybe into a shared house?
If your whole family is against you in this, I’m wondering if the lock in your bedroom door will ‘break’ so you can’t lock it anymore.
Good luck!