hi y’all first time posting so I might not get the formatting right and I have dysgraphia so if some get my sentence structure wrong Im sorry
I a (20F) celebrated my birthday nearly a week ago I didn’t want to do anything for it as I always feel bad about having the spotlight on me. But my friends insisted of at least doing something, so I suggested we just head to a mall we all enjoy. Only 2 of them showed up in the end which I was honestly thankful for. Until we started roaming the 2 friends that did end up showing up Myra (20f) and Alex (19f) just seemed very callous throughout everything. As we roamed they’d often leave me behind or just flat out ignore me when I try to talk to them eventually Alex suggested we go get some boba. I agree as I do enjoy boba so we went over to this small spot where me and Alex went inside as Myra wanted to save us a seat, we placed our order. And get to chatting I try ask them how they’re feeling about everything and they just give the classic cookie cutter responses. So I take that as they don’t want to talk about it. After we get our boba Alex mentions how they’re suddenly not feeling great and suggests they should leave soon after. They finish they’re drinks Myra agrees as Alex was they’re only way home at the time so they end up leaving as I’m left alone confused as to why they even wanted to come out if they’d just pretend I didn’t exist. This seriously hurt me so once I get home I send them a message saying how each of them upset me today as I personally don’t like to bottle up emotions. I tried to be polite about it and ended up getting an apology from Myra but Alex kinda just ignored the message, until a day later they sent me a text saying they needed a break. I haven’t heard anything from them since and I just feel like shit cause it just makes me feel like I can’t be mad even though their the one who did something wrong what should I do I’ve been respecting that they need space but honestly it just makes me feel like our friendship is over as we used to talk daily. Am I the asshole for being mad or is what they did in retrospect not that bad
When it’s someone’s birthday you should uplift them as much as you can. As it is a celebration of life. I’m not saying that your friendship is over but Alex can do better.
They don’t sound like very nice people. YNTA.
NTA. Why would they insist to hang out with you on your birthday just to act like that? Did something else happen during your time together to make them act that way?
I don’t think so I can be a little be of an over texter so maybe they got fed up??
NTA if you confronted your friend about something that genuinely bothered you respectfully and clearly, that’s boundary‑setting, not being an asshole. Lots of folks in similar AITA posts say that honest communication with friends even when awkward is better than letting resentment build, as long as you’re not deliberately rude.
NTA Alex ignoring your message and then saying he needs a break should tell you every thing you need to know
That’s typical of emotionally immature people. They behave like you don’t deserve to be treated with respect, you express you’re upset, suddenly you’re the bad person and they’re the one that need a break. Expressing your needs and when you’re hurt is HEALTHY and healthy friends know that
What page are you on with the rest of the group?