So I used to not have any allergies, but recently I have been reacting negatively to all types of nuts, and peanuts specifically are what I react to worst. Even just being in the room with peanuts or anything containing peanuts has made me break out in hives, given me horrible nausea and has even made my throat feel like it’s closing up. So since I have been suddenly having reactions like this I have been waiting on help from an allergy clinic, but since I’m not currently getting help for it because the clinic is quite a bit backed up my stepdad doesn’t fully believe that my new allergy is ‘real’ and has been constantly leaving open packets of peanuts in all the food cupboards and the fridge.
This has honestly pretty much been rendering me unable to step foot in the kitchen unless I absolutely have to, and almost every time I go in there I start feeling extremely dizzy and unwell. I have repeatedly spoken to my mother and stepdad about this and all I get back is ‘since you’re not going to the clinic for help you must not be actually allergic’ even though I have told them I’m just waiting for them to offer me an appointment and they just ignore my discomfort or at most tell me to take some antihistamines and just deal with it.
This morning I got home from work and was absolutely starving, so hoping that my stepdad hadn’t left any open packets of peanuts in the kitchen I went to make myself a snack and found multiple large bags of peanuts filling up the top of the cupboard. It made me so upset that even though I had told them so many times that I’m struggling with this newfound allergy they still refused to listen.
I was heavily considering throwing them all away, but none of them had even been opened yet so it wasn’t like I was currently at risk of getting a reaction to them. The reason I feel like I would be the asshole if I did throw them away is because well I’m not yet getting any sort of medical advice for this newfound allergy, so I do sort of understand the scepticism from my mother and stepdad. I also have a sister who is very much a hypochondriac and convinces herself almost every week that she has some new crazy allergy and we all have to accommodate her in this until she moves onto the next one, so I could see that both my mother and stepdad are probably sick of dealing with us kids and our allergies whether they’re fake or real.
So reddit, WIBTA for throwing away all the peanuts my stepdad left in the cupboard?
(Sorry if this isn’t the right format, this is my first post haha)
NTA at all but you need to get an appointment. Clinics don’t call you when they have an appointment for you. They may give you an appointment weeks or months out but they don’t call you, that’s not how they work.
Ah sorry for not explaining better! I have already seen a local doctor and they referred me to a specialist clinic for allergies so I have been put on the wait list for an appointment from them. It’s currently a bit backed up as they are a small clinic so I am just waiting to hear back. Sorry I’m very new to allergy testing and treatment so it is really confusing for me, I’m just going by what the local doctor told me about it
*Clinics don’t call you when they have an appointment for you. They may give you an appointment weeks or months out but they don’t call you, that’s not how they work.*
That may be the case where you live, but it’s obviously not the case where OP lives, and it’s definitely not the case where I live.
I live in a country (not the US) where if you need specialist treatment, you can be referred to either a private specialist or a public hospital clinic.
The private specialist you pay for. Our government subsidizes a small portion of the bill, but the patient pays the rest, usually a very hefty amount. The advantage of going private is that you can usually be seen relatively quickly.
The public hospital clinic is free, but the waiting lists can be VERY long. Serious imminently life-threatening conditions usually mean you’ll be seen within a couple of months. After my cancer diagnosis, I was seen by an oncologist at a public hospital within about three weeks.
But for anything not likely to kill you soon, no matter how debilitating or painful, you go on a waiting list, and then you sit and wait until THEY call you and offer an appointment, just as OP described. That often means waiting months or even years.
The longest I’ve ever sat on a public clinic waiting list was about two years. They even called me periodically to say “Do you still need to be on our list, or have you decided to go private?”
The situation at the clinic that OP described would be completely believable and unremarkable in my country.
YWBTA. Your family has a history of hypochondria. You don’t have a diagnosed allergy; nausea and trouble breathing can also be symptoms of anxiety and panic disorders — including OCD. You could be anticipating or fearing nuts when you go into the kitchen, and it might be causing the reactions you’re reporting.
Anxiety is not a genetic issue — it’s a learned behaviour — so it’s highly likely the family that raised a hypochondriac has also embued you with a LOT of anxiety to the point it will manifest in physical symptoms.
Don’t wait for the allergist — talk to your primary care doctor RIGHT AWAY. Don’t tell them you are allergic — tell them your symptoms and ask them for a diagnosis, so that they can examine all possible causes.
I know it sucks to have parents or people on the internet not believe you — but I’ve lived with people with nut allergies and this is not how their allergies presented, but it sounds a LOT like my anxiety disorder, so I hope you talk to your family doctor about it ASAP.
Not all allergies present the same you know that right? Not everyone gets the textbook im gonna die swelling and throat closing up immediately reaction. Some present can present as hives, trouble breathing and nausea/vomiting first before the big symptoms even hit which is what OPs experiencing every time they are around said allergen 🙄
People also get hives, trouble breathing and nausea/vomitting from panic attacks. It gets even worse when patients convince themselves that they have a condition unrelated to anxiety with no medical backing.
I understand your thoughts, but I actually didn’t even say to my GP that I believed I had an allergy to peanuts as I did not realise you could gain allergies later in life. It was completely their opinion that I should be referred to an allergist and that is why I am currently waiting to see them. I do actually have diagnosed anxiety already, which I’m unsure of if it does affect my reactions but honestly who wouldn’t be anxious about going into their kitchen when they start associating it with discomfort and pain? And about the symptoms, I actually know many people with peanut allergies, one of my colleagues is diagnosed with a peanut allergy and they told me their symptoms present in a very similar way to what I am currently going through
NTA. I understand it can be difficult to lobby for yourself but you have to either at the clinic or in your home. Your step dad is a bully who doesn’t understand that constant exposure to an allergen can make the allergy worse which, in this case, since you’re already feeling the throat closure, could k!ll you.
If trying to lobby at home is too hard (completely understandable), then you need to become a permanent fixture at the clinic. Call daily and be a bit of a nuisance (not rude or you would be the ah) but always there. Don’t let them forget about you!
Not sure where you are from. But can you not go to your GP? Such an allergy can be life threatening and you need to get an epi pen etc sorted, so surely someone will see you as a matter or urgency? Can you not try a different clinic?
NTA
> I start feeling extremely dizzy and unwell.
and
>Even just being in the room with peanuts or anything containing peanuts has made me break out in hives, given me horrible nausea and has even made my throat feel like it’s closing up.
are symptoms of MANY things, including both peanut allergy *and* a psychosomatic disorder.
You do not have a diagnosis. You should go to an urgent care clinic, stop dicking around, and have a conversation with a real doctor. I know you are trying to get in with an allergist but an urgent care specialist can help you accelerate that process and may be able to offer additional insight.
In the meantime, your stepfather is being TA. He’s been trained by your sister to believe that every single allergic complaint is just a brain going haywire, so he’s responding in a petty way. He needs to grow up too.
Once you have a definitive diagnosis, I strongly suggest that you and your sister both consider therapy as well. The other poster who says that anxiety is not genetic is wrong: while it is often *exacerbated* by external factors and some forms of it are learned/responsive, [there are also a number of genes linked to anxiety disorders](https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/yale-scientists-uncover-genetic-predisposition-to-anxiety/) [[source 2](https://healthtalk.unchealthcare.org/does-anxiety-run-in-families/)] [[source 3](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166223623000231)] and if you have an older sister who’s been displaying traits like that, you might very well be the age when you would start showing them too.
TL;DR: I’m not a doctor, none of us are, you need to actually get off your backside and see one, and then you should see a therapist.
EDIT to add:
I’ll just post this here because I’m tired of posting it in reply:
>At the time I started writing my comment (which took me a while because I wanted to make sure about the heritability of anxiety disorders and posted at 08:07 GMT)) they had not yet added their laddered comments (07:57 GMT and 08:05 GMT) about seeing a GP.
Soft NTA, but this household has a communication and boundaries problem. Throwing them out without warning will probably blow things up, but your parents are seriously downplaying something that could turn dangerous fast. Waiting lists don’t invalidate allergies. Even if they’re skeptical, the bare minimum is harm reduction. Separate cupboard, sealed containers, or no peanuts in shared spaces. If they won’t do that, they’re choosing snacks over your health, and that’s not okay.
Go to the ER next time you have hives.
I don’t get why the time their throat felt like it was closing up didn’t result in a trip to ER…
Have you gone to the doctor and got an actual diagnosis?
If not, that’s on you.
“Hide” when you feel bad….. If it’s that bad, don’t you think you should say something and go to the hospital? You know hiding isn’t smart. Stop doing it. 😒
Come on now, kid, you seem relatively capable and smart. Start advocating more for yourself rather than hide and think about throwing peanuts away. Show them.
Where is your mother? She’s your actual parent. Where is it?
Your stepfather is also NTA. I read he’s never around when it happens, but he eats them all the time? There was NEVER a time he was eating them around you, and you had a reaction?
I don’t care who gets upset reading this.