A couple days ago my sister in law and brother asked me if I was home a weekend in May to tuck my niece into bed. I absolutely love and adore my niece and it’s really no trouble at all doing so – they live a couple minutes down the road so it’s a non-issue. She’s also a very sensitive and sometimes difficult baby and loves me and my wife. We have tucked her in once before so we know we can do it. I said yes it’s no problem – I said even if my wife cannot join due to her being currently pregnant I would come.
The only problem is the very next day (yesterday) my brother asked this again to me and this time also my wife. She nodded her head and said yes to it too (she also loves our niece) but realized today that is the weekend we booked to visit her best friend across the country. My wife will be in her second trimester then and it’s one of the few weekends she can go given it’s Memorial Day and she doesn’t have any time she can otherwise take off (she starts a new job in Feb)
I let my brother know about this today (one day later) and he is livid. His wife is also angry and told me to cancel a Pilates class we were going to take together next weekend. My brother told me I can take any other weekend off and to keep this one free, but I explained to him that I couldn’t. I also let him know I would never ask him to cancel a trip or ask his wife to help with anything if she was pregnant. He said his ask is a 4 months heads up and I should make it work. He said my wife has a job that lets her take plenty of time off (this is absolutely not true I’m not sure where he got that idea). I’m really not able to though I wish I could and told him in ready to talk when he’s not angry. Also just to note – they have a nanny, his wife’s mom will be there, and my parents also live 5 min away. We’re not the only people around or something but our niece does tend to work with us the best.
I get why he’s angry – I think hearing that I would be home to help with putting down our nice was a relief for them day before and yesterday. But unfortunately, we won’t be able to and honestly I think their response is a way too heated. What do you guys think?
EDIT: sorry forgot to mention they’re obviously going out of town! This is the first time they’re leaving their babies home alone so I get the higher stress on their end
You have a weird family.
assuming this is real, don’t take offense there’s just so many weird stories on here lately, you’re absolutely NTA. the reason i question if it’s real because this is absolutely insanity if it is. it’s their child, if anything i find it weirder to be asking an aunt and uncle to come over frequently to tuck in a niece or nephew. that’s just plain weird. if you’re there sure, i get it. but to drive over jsut to do that is bonkers.
NTA at all. You told them literally the next day when you realized the conflict and you are allowed to have a life outside being the “baby whisperer” for your niece.
They have a nanny, two sets of grandparents nearby, and four months notice to figure out bedtime for one night. Their reaction is wildly out of proportion and honestly a bit entitled.
Serious question…Is English your first language? Doe you mean babysit your niece?
ETA: okay first, I’m glad that a bunch of other people were just as confused as I was. Second, a nanny and grandma? So all OP needs to do is give up a planned weekend away with his wife so that he could drive down and tuck his niece in?
NTA. Your brother and sister-in-law? Yeah, big time. Wait until your niece realizes the world actually doesn’t revolve around her. You might want to move to another state.
I am confused 🤔
Why can’t they tuck in their own child?
“Also just to note – they have a nanny, his wife’s mom will be there, and my parents also live 5 min away. We’re not the only people around or something but our niece does tend to work with us the best.”
This information came wayyy too late in the story. I was like, who tf is staying with this baby?
NTA. He is going on vacation so needs 6 people to look after his kid? Wild.
This entire story makes no sense.
Very very weird. NTA.
Why do they need someone to tuck their child in bed? Sorry but this makes no sense.
Why does your entitled brother and wife think their vacation plans take precedence over plans you and your wife already have in place? Four months notice is plenty of time for them to find someone to tuck in their kid.
ETA: Four months is also plenty of time for them to get over it.
Maybe he should cancel his trip and go another weekend?
Who schedules a tucking in four months in advance? That’s bizarre.
In any case NTA. Even if it were a request for a normal favor, your brother is being absurdly demanding. You already have plans.
Info
You’re tucking their kid in while they’re on vacation. How old is this kid? If she’s young enough to need to be tucked in who’s taking care of her when you aren’t? If someone is taking care of her why don’t they tuck her in? If she’s old enough to stay alone why doesn’t she tuck herself in?
Why does she need a tucking in so badly that they’re scheduling it 4 months out? This is strange. And no, you shouldn’t cancel plans so you can say goodnight to your niece, what a bizarre ask. NTA because wtf?