A friend of mine asked me last minute to cover their ticket for a concert we had planned to go to together. I had already paid for my own ticket and budgeted for it, and it was a bit pricey, so I told them I couldn’t cover theirs.
They got upset and said I was “selfish” and “should help friends in need.” I felt bad at first because I hate disappointing people, but I also know I can’t just hand out money whenever someone asks, especially at the last minute.
In the end, I decided not to go to the concert either. We both skipped it, and I drove my friend home afterward. It was kind of awkward in the car, and I could tell they were frustrated, but I also felt like I had done the fair thing.
Some other friends say I could’ve helped this one time to avoid conflict, but I feel like my boundaries were reasonable, and that it’s okay to say no without being “selfish.”
INFO:
>A friend of mine asked me last minute to cover their ticket for a concert we had planned to go to together. \[…\] In the end, I decided not to go to the concert either. We both skipped it, and I drove my friend home afterward.
They asked you to cover the cost of their ticket – ***on the day of the concert?***
Yes, I don’t understand this. OP already paid for their own ticket. If the friend hadn’t also paid for their own ticket, was there even still a ticket they could get? How were these people going together, if one of them had a ticket and the other didn’t as of right before the show?
You saved for yours. Friend should have done same. You should have gone to concert.
If you don’t have the money, then it’s just not possible.
NTA for not covering your friends at the last minute, especially when you couldn’t afford it. Your friend’s failure to plan should not constitute an emergency, in addition to financial irresponsibility, on your part.
I would say you may be TA to yourself for not going…you wound up sacrificing the price of **your** ticket to appease your friend’s feelings.
So you wound up being out the cost of both tickets AND missed the show? Obviously NTA for not covering their ticket but you really cut off your nose to spite your face.
You budgeted for your ticket. The tickets were expensive and you explained you couldn’t cover theirs. That should be the end of it. If your friend is upset that’s because they are using you and aren’t a true friend.
Ah, the old your selfish and friends help friends card. Don’t fall for it.
Wait wait wait, it sounds like you got all the way there before your friend told you that you were expected to pay for their ticket?
Unless they legitimately forgot their wallet, apologized profusely, and promised to pay you back the second they got home (or, better, Zelle it immediately because *surely* they didn’t forget their phone, too!) then they were PLANNING to mooch off you and manipulate you into agreeing by being put on the spot.
Absolutely NTA and I am sorry you missed the concert, especially that you paid for, because of their shenanigans. Is this really your friend? Do they pull this kind of stunt often?
Immediate NTA. Your friend is acting entitled to your money. You should’ve went to the concert because you saved for it.
You were the asshole to yourself by not going, he waited to last minute because he hoped that you would give in since it was concert time. Should have went, you let his selfishness win.
Some other friends say I could’ve helped this one time to avoid conflict,
The friend should have avoided conflict by discussing it long before the day of the concert. Without knowing more about this person, they sound selfish and controlling.
What did you do with your own ticket?
If being an ATM isn’t in your job description, then don’t be one. Your friend really shouldn’t be going to a concert if they can’t afford to go.
NTA. Far from it.