So for the record I have 3 kids 2 daughters and a son.. my son " Griffin" my oh so precious middle child is recently 15. I grew up with 3 younger brothers and babysat male cousins so trust I know boys. He’s at that boys age where I can’t get him to wear anything outside of ratty t shirts, jeans or sweats and all he wants to do is hang out with his " bros" ,football, his hidden old crusty tshirt under his bed ,or getting into trouble with that delinquent boyfriend of his.. He’s of course practically a mini me of his dad and picked up all the same frustrating habits and attitudes.
So I have plenty to complain about it which I did last weekend and I went on a bit of a girls trip with my friend Abigail and two of her coworkers while my ex had the kids. We got to talking rather more complaining after a good number of drinks about the stresses of raising kids and I happened to be talking about how frustrating Griffin could be sometimes and mentioned how he almost got arrested for shoplifting with his boyfriend . Abigails coworker Nina chimed in saying I should have it so much easier than her because my son’s gay. I was like what do you mean by that? And she’s like its much be much easier dealing with boy whos more like me practically one of the girls. That really rubbed me the wrong way and I was like no not at all hes practically his dad and maybe she stereotype so much
She scoffs and was like sure whatever and I’m being too serious..Maybe I got to upset at that and I said maybe don’t be such an dumb ignorant bitch. This is almost started a whole a thing. Abigail broke it up and that officially ruined and ended girls weekend . Abigail was a little upset and she thinks I way overreacted and now she’s getting shit with her Nina at work.
NTA. She was very blatantly stereotyping him for being gay and also being sexist in general.
NTA, she stereotyped your son and dismissed your frustrations. Was your response a little harsh? Sure but I can see why you’d get so upset.
NTA, she stereotyped your son.
I’d say she’d be right if she said he can neither get pregnant nor get anyone else pregnant, but that apparently wasn’t her point! NTA.
Edit: ok, not that he “can’t” get or become pregnant. But that an accidental pregnancy is less likely.
…did Nina’s kid get a young girl pregnant? This is the only thing I could think she could mean by “easier” when it comes to child rearing. Overall I don’t know what she means, or thinks she means. NTA
NTA for pushing back on her stereotyping your son. YTA for escalating the situation and ending the trip
for everyone by calling her names.
Okay, she made a stereotype, but (and I write this as a gay man who works in design), many of us are WAY WAY cleaner and better groomed than our straight counterparts. NOT all, but the median is way higher (anyone saying otherwise has not been in enough gay male homes ).
This is a teachable moment. Some of the gays are total slobs in finance. Some of us are jocks with gorgeous houses. You can let her know that we’re real people and, sadly for me, not all runway models with 6 packs abs and magazine worthy homes like on Heated Rivalry.
It isn’t worth fighting over. Be patient. It is part of being a minority that isn’t understood. We can be angry or make it into a teachable moment to help your son live an easier life. Honey is better than vinegar, right? 🙂
Her comment about your son was way out of line. Ignorant was a justified insult.
NTA.
Ah yes, so much easier, as long as he doesn’t have to deal with homophobic a$$holes……(pregnant silence)
NTA – she made a very ignorant comment. I wouldn’t have added the curse words, but she was wrong for making that assumption based on his sexuality. I can see why it upset you.
Nta, the only difference having a gay son makes is whether or not youre going be an accidental grandparent
NTA. She was making some pretty broad assumptions about how a gay teen boy should be acting. She could have listened and used it as an opportunity to dispell her preconceived assumptions. Instead she chose to press her ignorance and rather than apologizing, ruined the weekend.
NTA. Nina was being incredibly ignorant and relied on a tired, homophobic trope that gay men are just women lite. Your son is a person, not a character from a 2000s rom com. You corrected her, she dismissed you and doubled down, and then she caught the consequences of being offensive. Abigail should be more embarrassed by her coworker’s bigotry than your reaction to it.
Sexuality ≠ personality 🙄
NTA. Abigails in an awkward spot because she mixed business & pleasure. It’s not your job to account for her colleagues ineptitude.