The night before my birthday I (18f) am sleeping at gf (17f) house, i had a very difficult week and i was still emotional and i woke up at 5am and was crying until it woke up my gf around 630ish she made me feel a bit better but i was still pretty sad and it was obvious on my face that i was crying. She had to take her brother to school so i was walking out of her room and her mom (45ish) says “why are you so angry jesus” in a snarky rude tone and then “good luck with that” i literally do not know what provoked this and i chose not to respond, it did really hurt my feeling though as i was already very upset and she is usually very nice to me previously, she got me a christmas present and has always been very welcoming. when i walked out of the house i collapsed crying on the curb, my gf was comforting me and her mom was yelling at me saying “why are you so fucking dramatic what’s wrong with you there is always something going on with you” for context she has NEVER seen me upset of crying before and she also knows it is my birthday. She angrily texted my girlfriend some thing a that i am not allowed to see and they talked on the phone and apparently she just felt “disrespected” and “didn’t know what to do”
update: she sent me a ai apology that would actually be very nice if it wasn’t very obvious chat gpt she said she “needs emotional safety in her space” and has to “honor her own limits” i understand how it could be embarrassing for her to have a girl crying outside of her home but i really wasn’t trying to invade her safety or space
NTA She felt disrespected that a teenage girl was crying? Oh the narcissist tendencies are strong with that one.
I hope your birthday got better.
Let’s go lesbians
No of course NTA for crying. When I was in high school I remember consoling my friend who was crying. A teacher saw and said “aww it’s probably about a boyyyyYYyYY, you’ll be ok”
She was crying about her dead mother.
So adults sometimes are dumb.
Now, as an adult, if I had a teen dramatically crying in my home I probably would be pretty concerned, but you do say you never did that before right? So mom is definitely rude, she easily could have just let it be and asked your friend later if you were ok.
yeah i think she thought i was fighting with her daughter or something but that was not the case at all it was just about my own family stuff
This can’t be the full story. Your gf may have said something behind your back about how you are sensitive or always needing comforting.
The girlfriends talking behind your back to her mom.
NTA.
Ur GF’s mom is being needlessly rude. Also, how in the hell was she “disrespected” just because you cried on your birthday? That is narcissitic behavior considering it makes no sense how she felt disrespected when she was being disrespectful and rude to u
Honestly, you started crying and collapsed on the curb? You were emotional about your week? You’re spending the night at your girlfriend’s house at your age and you just expect her Mom to support this? I think you’re overly emotional and probably need to talk to your counselor at school.
NTA- (Before every reading) ITS YOUR PARTY YOU CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO!!! (After reading) I stand by my statement, though there is more context needed. Has this been a difficult week or are you typically very emotionally reliant on your partner? If you are; it is very possible your partner may vent to her mother about caring for you emotionally as HER outlet. Her mother could have taken THIS situation out of proportion seeing your emotions irl for the first time. Another theory is maybe her mother genuinely freaks when other people show strong emotions? I have many older relatives who ‘blow up’ over emotions (that is something they need to work on internally). Their parents may have considered emotions as a weakness therefore they weren’t allowed to show them, so, they are angry seeing someone express themselves today with no repercussions. It’s all they know; a generational curse that will hopefully be broken by you & your partner going forward. I could also see your birthday coming to play in the sense “it’s your special day/ how could you be sad today?!” I’m so sorry you had such a rough birthday but I hope for love & happiness in your future<3
Edit: The drama of crying on the curb may have sent mom over the edge lol… Maybe some counseling would help if you’re going through something extremely tough. Your partner is your partner, not your therapist & it sounds like perhaps you need a bit more help than she can provide? Again may need more context in all…
yeah i don’t think i am emotionally reliant on her in a unhealthy way i am sometimes sensitive but typically i don’t cry much at all or have “unexplained breakdowns” as some people are telling me i do, it has been a difficult week and a lot of things have happened that i wont say but have had a big impact on me, im working on getting through it though but i was just very emotional this particular morning. I just dont really understand her reaction at all because she started off being rude to me when i wasn’t even crying and just trying to leave the house, she says she didn’t know what to say and was trying to “name the emotion??” but i really dont see it any other way that her trying to provoke me or express her irritability
Honestly it may just be the fact their household is a more “emotionless” household than what you’re used to perhaps? Is your partner pretty reserved when it comes to emotional things? They seem to know how to comfort you pretty well! I guess it would just be how are THEY feeling when they comfort you is maybe a talk you need to have with them & maybe even mom? Btw growth isn’t a straight line & I believe in you just keep doing the next RIGHT thing<33
yta
main character personality and a victim personality