My partner and I were in an airbnb with a group of 6 friends. We were having some drinks in the hot tub for some time and I was getting tired so I left at midnight to go to bed. She stayed up until 5 AM with a couple of the guys and got pretty loaded. We aren’t very close with the friends as we met through our kids hockey team and were there for a tournament but didn’t want to stay at the hotel with the kids (The coaches look after them as they are older) When she came in at 5 AM clearly inebriated I got quite mad. She said it wasn’t a big deal. AITA for getting mad that she stayed in a hot tub drinking till 5AM?
What are you mad about exactly – that she stayed up late? That she drank too much? That she was with guys without your supervision? Did she miss some activity you had planned the next morning because of the late night?
Yeah I think YTA unless there’s more info you haven’t shared.
So you left her all alone at midnight – drinking with other guys. You left. Then at 5am you didn’t like the situation you created? How is any of this her fault again ?
YTA. She’s an adult that can make her own decisions. You’re not her dad. You left so why do you care?
Let it go. Sometimes my wife goes out with our friends and I just want to stay in. I’m just happy my extroverted wife can have fun while my introverted self hides at home. It works for us, maybe it can work for you too.
The only thing I sometimes get grumpy with my wife about is when I don’t know she is safe.
YTA why did you leave your drunk wife alone with people you claim to barely know if they weren’t people you were comfortable having her be out alone drinking with?
Would she have been just as cool if it was the reverse and you were up until 5 am drinking with other women in a hot tub? Just curious because I don’t know many women that would be comfortable with that especially if you were there as a family to support your son. It’s okay to not be comfortable with that, but if anything it does expose the two different personalities you both share. She sounds much more extroverted and some people love that. I’m an introvert myself and couldn’t ever find myself compatible with someone who likes to get drunk with strangers in a hot tub while we are on a family getaway. I feel like it would have been more appropriate if it was a couples getaway because I remember the times as a kid of my parents being hungover and ruining family time because they were.
YTA.
Has she cheated on you? Has she vomited on your bed? Has she started a fight? If no, why are you being angry on her for having drinks and good time?
YTA. She’s a fucking adult.
NTA. She doesn’t sound like she takes the relationship seriously. Should downgrade her from girlfriend status.
NTA…unless those 2 dudes walked around with smiles on their faces the next day.
YTA unless you had morning plans she couldn’t attend. Why would you be mad? She had fun.
NTA
its ok to have a drink or two, i dont drink myself. but given the reason you’re there at all, one should limit the intake and drink responsibly.
i also would not be cool with my gf having a hot tub party with other dudes. same as i expect her to not be cool with me having one with other women. its not worth putting one self in situations that provides opportunity for easy cheating, especcialy when drinking. and i personally find it disrespectful.
Hi OP I (28F) probably also would have hated this since i have a history of partners treating me poorly / cheating when drinking. My partner knows this and in scenarios where I know he might want to stay out longer then me we try to communicate extra well. I am also introverted and rarely drink, he is more extroverted and has quite standard, not unhealthy views on alcohol. As the person upset by this situation, I think it is important you are honest with yourself. Why is this triggering you? Is this really about your partner or is this reminding you of other situations where you felt betrayed? I think getting angry without reflecting yourself is an asshole move and you can do better 🙂
edit for typo
YTA. You left your drunk partner alone with 2 guys neither of you really know. Anything could’ve happened.