(throw away account because my brother is on reddit) So my(15f )brother (17) almost (18m) has been essentially running our house hold for like 4 years now. It started simple, he would call his friends loudly during the day, no big deal. Then it would be yelling and then screaming at his friends
My parents would tell him to stop and he wouldn’t. It’s also not even iust the yelling, he talks to everyone how he wants to and we’re expected to accept it. There’s been times where he’s said hurtful things and ive had to apologize for the things that lead him to savy that.
He’s made my mom break down so many times, and i mean like mental break downs so bad ive been scared.
I’m not saving all of that was directlv because of him but these things wouldn’t be happening if he wouldn’t lash out.
But backtracking to the screaming at his friends, ever since he got a PC hes been screaming at games every day, every night. My mom doesn’t do anything about it, my dad wants to but my mom won’t let him.
I dont get it, why let your kid keep you up at night and be lowk a peice of shit for years instead of punishing him and having arguments. literally as I’m writing this he’s screaming at his game its 11:30 at night, Oh I also forgot to mention how racist he is. He’s also probably transphobic and homophobic, which hurts me the most because he knows that I’m bi.
that’s not the brother I knew when was little. he was so sweet. I cry every time I think of the old him
NTA at all. This isn’t about “hating your brother a little bit,” it’s about living in a stressful, unsafe-feeling environment where one person’s behavior dominates the household. The racism, homophobia, and transphobia alone are enough to cause real damage, especially since he knows you’re bi. It’s okay to grieve the person he used to be and still be angry at who he is right now. None of this is on you, and it’s not your job to absorb his behavior just to keep the peace.
You’re NTA. It is sickening and heartbreaking to hear that you apologized to him for things that he bullied you about. It’s also completely fair for you to be angry at the fact that your parents aren’t parenting. I’m honestly worried that the more they let him get away with the more of a danger he’ll become as he clearly lacks empathy. Something I’ve seen a lot in posts like this is that the personality changes are related to tumor growth. I’m not saying that’s what this is but it might be worth bringing up to your parents.
NTA. You can love & miss someone and yet not like them as a person. It sounds like your brother isn’t doing much to be likeable and it’s okay to feel the way you do about his words & actions.
NTA. My son went through this and the cussing we could abide. If he had been yelling racist, homophonic or any other such hate, I would have shut him down and put fear in his little heart with a verbal takedown that neither he or his friends would ever forget. And I would take the stupid machine away. He wasn’t raised to be that way so he didn’t cross the line.
The dynamic between you mother and father sounds concerning, but you are NTA.
NTA, i have a brother like this, would blast his music really loud when I’d worked a night shift, would eat everything in sight even if it was things me and my other brothers had brought with our own money. He would steal my money and cigarettes too. I’d find him lounging in my bedroom, shoes on, on my bed, smoking and blasting my stereo so loud I thought the speakers would blow. I got to a point where I told my mum if I didn’t get a lock on my bedroom door she’d come.home to one less son. My bedroom was fitted with one and I brought a mini fridge for my room, my brothers would also ask me to stash their snacks in my room too because they knew I’d be respectful of their stuff.
My brother now lives a very isolated life because he’s treated everyone like shit and burned his bridges with his entitlement. It sucks your still so young and have to continue putting up with this crap. Do you have any aunts, uncles or grandparents you could stay with? Because it sounds unbearable. It’s horrible to just be expected to keep enduring this, your mother can keep letting it slide, eventually I think your dad will snap and things will get really hostile and it would be good if you could find somewhere to go before that happens. But if you can’t when the shit storm eventually rolls in barricade yourself in your room and steer well clear.
Hugs. I’m so sorry. Some kids are really hard to raise. A lot of experts recommend more gentle parenting with people who are defiant. However, you have to have some boundaries. Things you can do is ask to family counseling with your parents to tell them how it impacts you or solo counseling to focus on what you can control.
He’s been radicalized by in-game chat
NTA sorry you have to go through this, but it seems like your parents need to discipline your brother. (Sorry parents of reddit but this is true) in some cultures, parents instil fear on their kids and with fear there is discipline. Also, boundaries should be brought up by again, your parents. Honey, you are too young to be the one stepping up and IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to do things like that.
So no, you’re N T A. Your brother needs an older sister or an authoritative parent who will sit him down and put him back to his place. Kids like your brother thinks he can get away with anything and will most probably put himself in danger.
So he turned into a gamer
NTA. I’d put a huge effort in at school and a plan to get out as soon as possible. I’d warn your parents that them choosing to let your brother do this means you’re leaving as soon as you’re able and you won’t look back because home is horrible.