I (25F) had this happen with my now ex (28M) this past weekend. I was dog sitting for him for about a week while he was on a work trip out of the country. He was flying back from Latin America to the PNW, so it was a long travel day. I agreed to watch his dog as a favor, not for money.
The day he was supposed to fly back, I took my car to the dealership for an oil change and was told my battery was bad and needed to be replaced soon. My car had to be jump-started and I was warned that once I turned it off again it might not start. I didn’t replace the battery there because I usually get batteries through Costco since they’re significantly cheaper. I was told to limit driving. He was expecting me to pick him up from the airport that night, so I called and explained the situation and said there was a chance my car wouldn’t start later and he might need to Uber. He said that was fine.
Important context: I had his house keys because he lost his spare, and his dog was staying with me. He then said he wanted to stay at his place because he had a lot of luggage. This irritated me because he’s refused to come to my apartment for weeks due to inconvenient parking, but I didn’t argue. I asked how he expected to get his keys and dog back since that would require multiple trips. He expected me to pick him up, drive him home, then go back to my place and bring his dog to him.
Because of my car battery situation, I asked if I could just drop him off and keep his dog overnight so I wasn’t risking my car dying. This really upset him. He said my plan didn’t make sense and that I was being rude and inconsiderate. I told him I wouldn’t let him talk to me like that and asked him to call back once he calmed down. Instead, he blew up my phone while I was driving. When I didn’t answer for a few minutes, he threatened to break up with me and said I needed to immediately return his dog and keys or he would report me to my apartment complex for having an animal. I called him back, said I’d bring everything over, and blocked him. While loading his dog’s things, I Venmo requested him $200 for watching his dog all week. He paid it immediately.
After that, he kept calling through Instagram demanding to know what I was doing. I told him I was dropping everything off like he asked. I made the drive without my car dying. Before his flight, he started calling again, apologized, and said he didn’t actually want to break up. He then said he still needed me to pick him up because he couldn’t afford an Uber. I offered to order one instead, but he refused and got hostile again, told me to fuck off, and said a surprise cabin trip he’d planned was canceled because I was inconsiderate. He then completed a an old Venmo request ($20–$30) and told me I needed to send the $200 back since I never agreed to watch his dog for money. I feel conflicted because of how it happened, but I did watch his dog for a full week and his behavior felt completely out of line.
AITA if I keep the $200?
Nta. You provided free labour and he treated you appallingly. Also he chose to pay it. He’s having payers remorse. Keep him blocked.
NTA. Try saying out loud: “I watched his dog for a full week as a favor. When my car battery was failing, I communicated clearly and offered reasonable alternatives. He responded by yelling, threatening to report me, and trying to force me into unsafe driving. He paid the $200 voluntarily after all of that. Given the time, responsibility, and his behavior, keeping the money is reasonable.” See how that feels. Also think about how he communicated with you and if you would be comfortable communicating that way with someone you love who is actively supporting you despite their own extenuating circumstances.
All of this
Boy sounds like a piece of work. Doged a bullet. Let him play his games you are done with that noise.
Sounds like he can afford that Uber now the totally planned cabin trip is cancelled.
If you put in the Venmo request it was for dog sitting and he paid it, he agreed to it. You don’t have to give it back. That being said if his crash out starts to feel threatening, I would send it back and cut all ties. Standing on principle isn’t worth putting yourself in danger, physically or mentally.
Agreed with the danger part. If it compromises your safety it isn’t worth it
He agreed to paying you. Nta for keeping it. Block and don’t look back. Threatening to get you kicked out is super abusive. Glad he showed his true colors now. Keep the money and move on.
NTA, but why wouldn’t you take the dog with you to the airport and then drop them all off at his place?
What a nutter. Keep the money. Keep him blocked. I hope he doesn’t have keys for your place
NTA block and move on
NTA
Sounds like you got a real taste of this man. He’s happy for you to be compromised but not him. Block him everywhere and stay away from people like this.
Use the $200 and buy a new battery
You requested the money and he paid it. End of that part of the story. It sounds like the relationship is beyond fixing. Travel and anticipation of returning home can be stressful. Maybe let things cool down for a few days before you figure out your next move. He definitely needs to get his head straight.
There is an element of just letting go of everything and returning the money. All ties are cut, you go your separate ways. It might be different if the dog had done damage to your apartment. But you aren’t out any money due to the dog.
Sit on it for a few days. Let the situation play out and then make your decision.