I know roommate stuff is quite divisive here so taking a swing. I 24 F live with 2 other house mates, A and B (both 24 F). Both B and I have singles, while A is in a loft above the living room. The loft is pretty private and high up as it has to be accessed by a private staircase and is very big but the catch is it only has a half wall on one side. As such she pays considerably less (500 dollars less per month). The walls here are very thin and my roommate seems to have bat like hearing. She asked that we instate quiet hours past 10:30 as she’s having a hard time sleeping since the walls are thin so sound carries. I think quiet hours are totally fair but she recently asked that we don’t talk out loud or speak to anyone on the phone past 10:30. This is the only time I could call my family as they live abroad, so I told her I would be mindful and speak at a low volume but she said it’s a hard No. In my head if you’re a sensitive sleeper you shouldn’t have picked the room with no wall. The loft is very private so really the only drawback (and reason it’s so discounted) is because of the noise cancellation. I know this because I lived in another unit in the building with the same layout and I lived in the loft so I know exactly how much she hears. I feel like if she needs accommodations she maybe should’ve considered that before picking the room. I also feel like she’s not doing things to mitigate the sound transfer like putting up a curtain. I already stuff sweaters in the gap in my door so as to be mindful and talk a little louder than a whisper. Anyways neither of us is budging and the house has entered a bit of a cold war which is really stressing out my extra roommate. She says she agrees with me and me talking on the phone doesn’t bug her but she thinks I should cave because I’m the one that can actually do something and my other roommate can’t. AITA?
Edit: Many people think we are students but we are actually 3 professionals with 8-6 standard/ office jobs and I go to grad school in the nights. However we do live in a college town which makes cost of living extra high and the town extra noisy. Not sure why she chooses to live here but I live here because I take night classes at the college. Since some people have mentioned budget I will say that I don’t think she makes a very low amount of money but I don’t think it’s insanely high either, she’s a legal assistant.
NTA. If the noise is too much of a bother for her then she should invest in noise cancelling headphones.
Or ear plugs. I sleep with ear plugs in due to old noisy and inconsiderate neighbors. I also have bat hearing and I can very little
Op after a while this is on your roommate. They make things called noise canceling headphones and noise machines. At this point she is taking or infringing on you right’s to enjoy the apartment your paying half for.
NTA what she is asking for is complete unreasonable. Asking you not to talk to your family at 10 at night. It you were doing it at 1 am in the morning I would agree with her
She could try sleeping with earplugs if she is so sensitive to noise. She shouldn’t be dictating that no noise be made, being quiet is a good compromise.
NTA. Roommate needs to do sound mitigation before she makes extreme demands like not being able to speak to your family in your own bedroom. I see sound dampening curtains that are supposed to take care of 15+ decibels, and she should consider some type of white noise in addition to that. Sound dampening curtains are most effective at dealing with moderately high sounds, like a woman’s voice. If it was bass she was complaining about, that’s much harder to block, but it would still be reasonable to expect her to make an effort herself rather than skipping straight to a rule that has such a heavy impact on her roommate.
And yeah, as someone who is pretty sensitive to sound, I’m inclined to agree with you that a person who is sensitive to sound shouldn’t be putting themself in a situation where they would be exposed to more sound and then expect their roommates to contort their lives to accommodate that sensitivity.
NTA. I think quite hours after 10:30 are reasonable as well as being mindful when on the phone, however “dont speak outloud at all”? 👀 this is the crazy territory, the roommate should invest into the specialist to calm her nervous system down and probably switch with one of you as it seems the loft is not something for her
NTA. It sounds like you’re doing all you can to mitigate the sound issues, so at a certain point your roommate has to adjust and reduce the sound on her end, too. White noise machines, noise-cancelling headphones, etc. Also: I say this as someone who also has bat-like hearing: 10:30 is pretty early for “dead silent hour.”
NTA
I disagree with B. A has plenty of options she can actually do to reduce the noise she hears.
By your account, you’re being considerate of your roommate. It’s time for her to invest in a white noise machine, earplugs she can sleep in, and putting up some curtains/blankets to dampen sounds.
NTA. She’s being completely unreasonable. The answer is no. If it doesn’t work for her she can find other accommodations at the end of the lease.
This wasn’t agreed upon originally so she can’t just decide to insist on a new rule. What she can do is get some noise cancelling headphones or earplugs to solve HER problem.
Quiet hours in communal spaces is fair enough but if you’re talking quietly in your own room with the door closed I don’t think that breaks the rule. It’s quiet hours not silent hours.
Right!! Quiet hours in a communal space is totally okay. But I’m not allowed to talk in my own room??
I think it would be a good idea to tell them nicely, and that they could also get some earplugs. Everyone has to adapt, not just you.
NTA. As a person with ‘bat like hearing’, ear plugs exist and are pretty damn cheap. It would be one thing if you were playing loud music or running the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the night, but saying you can’t *talk* after 10:30 is absurd.