Hi I am sorry if my english are not that good. I am a student who live in a house owned by my parents but it just me and my brother and his employees who live here. Me and my brother don’t get along since we are young but we are civil to each other. So this happens today actually and I am still crying at this time. And I want to share this to someone so that I will be alright. My brother has 2 big cars and I have 1 car. Originally my parking spot is like beside the gate for me to be able to easily get out. But my dad change it and ask me if it okay because my brother needs the area. It’s okay for me because my dad build me one that has a roof so that my car is protected and I can easily park. The semester ends last year and I stayed like 3 or 4 weeks in our hometown and got back here in the city to study. When I got back I notice that one of his car which is used by his employees. Is always park my spot. I told my brother about this and ask him since last week to tell his employees not to park on my spot because it is build for me. Now I’m a type of person who is very introvert and for context I don’t really talk to his employees since all of them are guys. And as much as I can I will avoid them. I never give them order or asking them something because I respect that it is my brother’s employees not mine. Yesterday I ask my brother can I wash my car because the parking spot of his car (not in the house) is the wash area. He said yes and I cleaned and wash my car. Since in my parking spot has a car (employees car) I ask him to move because I am going to park. He said I can park my car on his spot because his other car is not there.
Part 2:
Today eveninghe arrived with the car he used and he ask me to move mine. His cars are big but our parking spot or ground is wide so the other car can move. Since the employees car is in my spot I ask him to move it since it’s mine. He got upset so much because according to him I can park on the free area. We have a big trees in our house that it can cause our cars to be dirty and it is hard to clean them, that’s why I hate to park without a roof and I am a college student I don’t have much free time. I told him that I ask him since last week to tell his employees not to park on my spot but he never listen. He started yelling and his employees started to get out in their rooms. I got embarrassed since I am the only female and he is making a scene. (I don’t have a problem on moving my car I just want to move in my spot which he got upset). So in that moment I go back on my room so he got so angry and start to kick and punch my car (I don’t know what he did more or is there a damage because I was not ready to look. i just hear him kicking my car while cursing at me). So I call my mom about it and I started crying we are arguing so much and he still kicking my car. I was so heartbroken because I love my car it is my first car. My mom talk to him and he call me names which I heard (he call me dumb because I change my program because that program drained me so much that I can’t take it anymore and it hurt so much because while in the process of deciding I was so depressed and I thought it was end of my life. And why does my parents still sending me to university I was just wasting their money because I am dumb.) And I can take it anymore so I put my headset on. When my mom talk to me I ask her so many times before that I want to move out I can’t take it anymore. My dad and mom don’t want it before but my mom agreed now. Am I the asshole? I can’t sleep and eat I am still crying. I don’t want to leave my room to check my car because he may hurt me physically. Please what should I do? Should I really need to move out?
NTA You should absolutely move out. You are in a house full of men, and the one who should be protecting you in that environment, the one who has only power to protect you, is instead setting an example of disrespecting you, and showing violence towards you. You are in a very unsafe situation if you stay. I don’t know why your parents allowed this to develop in the first place.
All that aside, you are not dumb for switching your academic focus. That’s actually very smart and brave. You are a strong person, and you need to recognize that. Smart, brave, and strong. You just need to get out of the danger.
NTA
You didn’t refuse to move your car, you just asked that you be allowed to park it in the undercover area your Dad built for you. That’s not unreasonable.
You need to move out and get away from your brother. He does not sound like a safe person (physically or mentally) for you to be around. I hope you are able to find a new living situation soon, away from him.
P.S. There is nothing wrong with changing your college program. It’s very common to do that. I think it’s brave to recognise something is not workable for you and to make a change to something healthier. You need that same bravery now. ❤️
Your parents should never have made you the only female in a house with your brother and his employees, especially if your brother refuses to take up for you.
NTA – time to move out.
NTA. This honestly sounds like you’re just asking for basic respect. That spot was literally built for you, with a roof and everything. You already asked nicely, multiple times, and you’re not even comfortable talking to the employees directly. That’s on your brother to handle, not you. You didn’t refuse out of spite, you just wanted to park where you’re supposed to park. Crying over this makes sense btw, it’s not just about the car, it’s about being ignored.
When he calls our mom he told her that I was bossy to his employees. When the time I ask them how to on the pressure washer because I don’t know how.
Nah you’re not the asshole here. I feel like people are missing that this has been an ongoing thing and you already brought it up. You didn’t yell, you didn’t make a scene, you just didn’t want to keep being displaced in your own house. Also your brother telling you to just park somewhere else every time instead of telling his employee to move is kinda lazy on his part. Small thing, but it adds up.
NTA but you need to just say to the employee, “please don’t park in this spot, my father build it for me, park somewhere else, but not here. Thank you”. They likely think it’s fine as no-one has said otherwise. Just politely and calmly tell them to stop.
NTA. Why are employees living there? It’s your parents house. Tell your parents to evict the brother/employees. Or completely move out because you are in a very unsafe environment. Also IDK maybe call the police for property damage? If your dad specifically built that spot for you, everyone should know that when you are present it’s your’s.
Also you are not dumb for switching majors, it’s completely normal. I’ve had several different majors due to starting and stopping college multiple times. It has nothing to do with being dumb, you just find it’s not for you and find something that it is.
My parents buy this house for my brother and I so we have a place to stay for college. Since my brother is a business major my parents help him to have a business. Because of the nature of his business my brother and my dad decided to have rooms separated in our house but still we are in the same place. My mom and I didn’t agreed on this which cause a huge argument between us. And my dad don’t want me to stay in apartment or dorm because of the reason that they buy this house for us. That’s why ask so many times to them for me to move out and now my mom agreed of me moving out. And thank you I really doubting myself until now because my brother and my dad always make me feel that it is a a dumb decision to change program.
NTA, but the answer here is not dealing with your brother or his employees, but your dad. If your dad expects you to live there and made the spot for you, he can get involved and tell your brother to keep his cars out of it.
That’s the general answer. In this specific case, where you needed the washing spot, it does make sense that another car would have to use your spot today (and today only).
There is a third option for the parking issues, and it’s your brother giving you a key to his vehicles so you can move them if you need to. He’ll probably object to that, and that’s a good reminder to him to park in his spots and not yours.