Music festivals aren’t really my thing and they’re not something I had any interest in. My girlfriend had been to a couple before we had met. We’ve been together for 4 years now and last year she kept talking about wanting to go. I tried explaining they’re not my thing and I’d rather spend the money on something else.
We ended up agreeing to go to one that is a bit smaller than a few of the ones we have in the UK but still fairly big. I told her this would be the only time I’d be going to a festival and after the festival she drops the notion of going to another one with me and she agreed.
We went to the festival last year and while it wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t really for me. My gf is already talking about going back this year.
I reminded her of our agreement and said if she wants to go next year she can take a friend because I won’t be going back.
I mentioned it’s too much money for me to be spending yearly for me not to be enjoying myself.
I pointed out the cost of the festival and everything around it could have gotten me a week abroad which I would have enjoyed a lot more. I reminded her she agreed to not keep bringing up festivals if I go to one with her.
She said I wasn’t being fair but I pointed out she wasn’t listening. I’m not willing to waste my money to go to festivals when I’m not going to enjoy it.
AITA for refusing to go to another music festival?
NTA but sometimes in relationship you have to compromise yes you cant be dragged into something you dont wanna do but also how many things has she compromise that she didnt wanna do with you but yet still did it
Agree, but when compromise comes with a festival-sized price tag, that must be factored in. It’s not just ‘I don’t want to go with you’, it’s also ‘Hey, I don’t enjoy this really expensive thing, I would like to do other expensive things with you instead.’ I get that she loves festivals, but she needs to take a friend with her. She is the only one who can decide if his not being part of the festival culture is a deal breaker for her.
NTA. Is there a reason she can’t go with friends? Did you pay for both of you or did you each pay for yourselves?
NTA. you’re being totally reasonable especially because you’re not trying to impede her freedom to go on her own.
If you do find yourself considering trying another one, I highly recommend seeking out even smaller festivals. Festivals in the 1500 – 5000 attendee range are an entirely different experience – much more intimate and laid back, less walking, less pressure to go see all the super famous acts. And most importantly they’re a LOT less expensive while providing a much more meaningful and enjoyable experience.
NTA – I don’t think you could have made your stance any clearer and she’s evidently choosing to ignore that now.
Nta but maybe you arent compatible?
You should have your boundaries and she should respect them. If someone i was interested in wasnt able/willing to appreciate my interests/hobbies then i would take that as a sign. If your comfortable with her going without you, thats good. If you refuse to let her go then its an issue
> If you refuse to let her go then its an issue
Omg read the post.
NAH. She must have hoped that you would enjoy it enough to share what she enjoys with you. There has to be something the two of you do together that’s more your thing than hers. Could you compromise and go every other year? It’s hard for some people not to ever share their hobby with their partner.
She does share hobbies with me but you don’t have to share everything. I wouldn’t want to give up on going on holiday every other year.
My boyfriend loves Ghost. I don’t. He’s going to the concert alone this weekend. I’m happy for him and hope he has a great time.
We both love Stray Kids and went to their concert together and are going to the concert movie together.
It’s really that simple if you love and respect each other. You don’t have to do everything together.
NTA. You only would be of you were trying to get her to not go without you, but you are encouraging her to go with a friend.
NTA. You tried it. You didn’t like it and that’s perfectly ok.You don’t have to be welded at the hip. It’s normal and healthy to do things separately sometimes.
I mean NTA but it sounds like you don’t even want her to talk about the festival around you, whether she wants you to go or not.
My husband isn’t as in to fests as I am. I went to my last one solo. But if he told me not to even talk about it with him, yeah I’d be a bit hurt.
She can go with a trusted friend. They will keep each other safe.
If she tries to force you thats different. You should also not force her to stop doing she enjoys because you do not. Not everything has to be done together when in a relationship. You should be able to trust and be able to be away from each other without an issue. You can still miss each other bit have fun doing your own thing too.