The Lord of the Rings is doing a theatrical rerun in my city so me (27m) and gf (27f) decided to go watch the Two Towers (extended edition) last night. We do not currently live together.
There’s a bar that I really love right next to the theatre. I asked if we could go to this restaurant after the movie because I really wanted to get this specific dish – it’s lattice style fries that are fried in beef tallow, covered with green onions, bacon, house seasoning, and comes with the best hollandaise sauce I’ve ever tasted in my life. You can get fries for one (smaller portion) or fries for two (much larger portion) for a couple extra dollars.
She didn’t realize that the movie was nearly 4 hours long, and it ended at around 10pm. By this time she said she was tired and didn’t want to go to the restaurant anymore. I said that’s ok, and asked if I could order my fries to go. She said that that’s fine. I asked her if she wanted any and she said no, so I ordered the fries for one. I checked with her again before I ordered and she said she 100% didn’t want any.
We went to pick up the fries. She caught a whiff of it and asked if she could have a few. No problem, they are very delicious and I let her have some. She then asked if we could sit outside the restaurant to eat the whole thing together. I said no, I asked you if you wanted to have some and you said no, and if you wanted to eat some you should’ve told me so I could’ve gotten the fries for two and I don’t want to share the fries for one as it’s a smaller portion. She got really upset and said I’m being selfish and refusing to share my fries. I said that yes I am being selfish but in this case I really wanted the fries and just being honest but I don’t want to share in this instance.
She’s since cooled down but this morning we had a call and she said that next time I should just share it with her and I said I’m happy to share any time but not in cases like this and she should be more careful about saying what she wants. She’s upset with me again now. So, am I the AH?
NTA. She specifically said she didn’t want anything TWICE before you ordered. She doesn’t get to be upset that you don’t want to share your meal FOR ONE with her.
She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her own actions.
“Joey doesn’t share food!”
NTA
Noooooo NTA. People act like this on purpose. You checked in with her SO. MANY. TIMES. to try to get her some fries! Her turning around like this and demanding YOURS is completely deliberate. She’s trying to see how far she can get you to bend.
NTA. I’m so SICK of people who do this. Order your own fucking fries and don’t cry when people quite righty don’t want to share.
Same! I don’t share food at all.
NTA. For the people here saying “you should have just bought it anyway,” no. That just reinforces annoying behavior. She’s an adult, if she was really that hungry, they could have ordered another single portion.
Sooo, she asked outside the restaurant, why didn’t you (or her) go in and get one more portion?
NTA – but advice from someone who has been in a relationship for the past 22 years, always get the extra fries.
NTA.
Sharing your fries is what you did when you gave her a few.
Splitting an order of fries is what you offered to do and she said no to before you ordered, when you’d have got the double portion and you’d both have had ample fries to make a meal out of them.
She’s acting like you were selfish and greedy when you listened to her, and were willing to give her some of your fries even though she’d said she definitely didn’t want any, but weren’t willing to give her half of your single-person portion, because you *had* been expecting to have supper around 10 PM, having known how long a movie known for being really long was… And really, there was nothing stopping her, at the point she’d had a few fries and her stomach woke up, from popping in and getting herself something to go too.
NTA She’s almost 30. Doesn’t she know how to order food?
If you were still at the restaurant, why not get a second order?
NTA. Your girlfriend was behaving like a toddler. You asked, more than once, she declined. If she wanted some so bad SHE should have gone back into the restaurant and gotten some. Like a grown up. Not pout like a baby.
NTA.
YALL infantilize women on this app every fucking day and i’m SICK of it!!!!! He asked multiple times. He even shared, after she said NO.
At what point does NO not mean NO anymore??? If she didn’t want any she doesn’t get any. If she wants some she should say yes. This notion “share anyway” “always buy women fries” “don’t yall love your partners” “yall have sex but won’t share food” “order more even when she says no” — ALL of this rhetoric infantilizes women and tells men to ignore women when they say NO?!??!
I fucking hate this conversation. If someone asks if you want something and you say no, you lost the opportunity. Regardless of your gender. OP you’re not the ah and you didn’t even have to share but you did! She needs to grow up!!
“Women always do this” hmmm not me or the women I know. It’s called accepting the consequences of your decisions. That can happen on large or small scales. Everyone calling him selfish doesn’t recognize that SHE is selfish as well? Make it make sense.