I (27) have been living with my roommate (29) for about a year. At first things were fine, but over the last few months he’s basically stopped contributing to anything. He doesn’t have a job, pays rent late (if at all), never cleans, and spends all day gaming on his PC.
I’ve talked to him multiple times and asked him to either get a job or at least help around the apartment. Every time he promises he’ll change, but nothing ever actually happens.
Last week, I changed the WiFi password. I pay for the internet myself, and honestly it felt like my last option. Since then, he’s been furious and says I’m “controlling” him and deliberately trying to sabotage his life. He’s now telling mutual friends that I’m manipulative and toxic.
Some friends say I’m completely justified since I pay for the WiFi and he’s been freeloading. Others say changing the password was passive-aggressive and that I should have handled it differently.
So… AITA?
NTA he’s not paying rent… like what else are you supposed to do… Even if he does the “I need it to get a job” he can just go to the library with a flash drive of his resume and apply there and it didn’t sound like he was even going through the motions.
NTA. Do you own this property or do you rent it? If you own it evict him if you rent it hopefully he is listed as a separate tenant and you can ask the landlord to evict him.
NTA!
You have a lot of patience. Time to evict this free loader. He can do all of that from his Mom’s basement, rather than expecting you to cover his bills. Crazy
NTA. You HAVE talked to him and “nothing changed”. He’s pissed because his ability to freeload and get an MS in Loser is being impacted. Too bad, so sad. He doesn’t like it? He’s free to give you the money he owes you or he moves out.
He’s not a roommate, he’s a squater pack his stuff and get out.
NTA and to any friends who choose to get involved, tell them you would be happy to drop the roommate off at their place so they can treat him “fairly”
NTA.
He isn’t your child, you don’t have to support him.
He knows he’s not contributing anything. You’ve told him multiple times and he’s done nothing about it. Warning him, “I really mean it this time!,” wouldn’t have changed anything, it just would have allowed him more time to freeload, which is what he’s basically whining about.
NTA but be careful: if he has physical access to the router, “physical access is total access”, as the saying goes.
Tell your friends who think it’s passive aggressive that he should move in with them. They can deal with his freeloading in a more proper manner.
NTA. You took away the one thing that kept him from getting a job. No WiFi no internet to game online. He doesn’t pay for anything so he doesn’t have any right to complain.
It’s not control. He’s free to get his own WiFi service. He’s not entitled to yours.
If a friend thinks you should share your wifi for free, ask them for their password so you can use theirs. Better yet, ask them to pay for your wifi and you use it for free.
Yo, he needs to move out already.
You KNOW this, OP. Tell him it’s time to get out. You’re not being controlling; you’re literally paying for what services YOU use, and not the services HE uses, which is entirely fair (and the alternative being splitting the internet bill, which he is not doing).
Time to pull the cord.
NTA. I’m always amused by the “this action you took after having multiple mature conversations about the problem is passive aggressive and you should’ve handled things differently” line.
Oh? How should I have handled things differently? Inevitably they have no answer and just retreat to “I just think there’s something else you could’ve done.” Ok, so you have no actual solution, you just feel bad and so want me to feel bad too.
NTA. Are you both on the lease? If so, contact your landlord to explain the situation, they might be able to force him to pay his portion of rent or evict him for non payment. If he’s not on the lease then give him a 30 day notice before kicking him out. If he doesn’t pay then he doesn’t get to stay and enjoy the amenities.