I (23F) and my partner (27F) live together. I’m an EMT and am on call most shifts. Last night, I was on call and had a very exhausting shift. I was very tired. My partner (who has a cat, this is important), is a freelance actress, was having a wrap party with all her co workers in honor of finishing the film they were working on. I was invited to this party which was being hosted at a bar. From her work to the bar (where we were all meeting) is about an hour away from where we live. Her and I both came to the agreement that I would Uber about halfway and she would pick me up and drive me the rest of the way to the bar for the party since she had just pulled a 12 hour day and driving an hour to get me and then back would be really out of the way – we only have one car.
On our drive to the bar, I had mentioned that I had forgot to feed the cat because I was in a rush with the time crunch of the Uber arriving and my tired/slightly delusional state with trying to get ready with only 10-15 minutes to work with before having to meet the Uber. We’d be gone for a couple hours. Mind you, I’m usually very on top of feeding him as I had fed him wet and dry food the night before. This one specific time I had just simply forgotten because of the time crunch.
When I told her this, she absolutely exploded. She raised her voice and said I was very irresponsible and that I should’ve known better because he’s a living thing and that I should have more compassion for an animal. In her exact words, “even if you were running short on time, you should’ve told the Uber to wait so you could’ve fed him”. I was very open about the fact that I had forgotten and explained that I simply did not have the time and I honestly really did just forget. It was a very honest mistake. You see the thing is, I didn’t even think of feeding the cat, it had totally slipped my mind. I had explained that I was very sorry for not feeding the cat but assured her that he would be fine, he’s not going to starve to death and I will make it my priority to feed him right when we get back. Long story short, the bar with her coworkers was awkward and she still seems extremely upset about it even though we are back and I fed him. I understand where she’s coming from but her reaction seemed very out of character and I still feel like I’m being crucified for it.
AITH for thinking her reaction was really over the top?
EDIT: Just to clarify, she worked an over night shift. I was home earlier in the day as I got off way before her. I was on kitty duty so I was the only one able to feed him.
ESH
Of course you are an AH for not feeding the cat. How dare you? I’m sure the cat will let you know just how upset it is by waking you up at 4 am with the zoomies.
Your partner’s reaction is over the top though. Mistakes happen. Yes, we forget sometimes and, yes, the cat will in fact be just fine. (May not even care, but you are still an AH for failing the true ruler of your home.)
This is not how you get angry at loved ones.
not only that but… it’s HER cat, did the event start way earlier to where she couldn’t feed her cat ?
NTA mistakes happen. The cat will be fine if it’s meal is delayed a few hours but don’t be surprised if it’s secretly planning your murder now.
YTA for not posting cat tax, how dare you!