Hello, first time poster here. I am 21F and my bf is 22M. Some context before I start, me and my bf (i’ll call him Bob, not real name) have talked about our future after college multiple times already, like what job we will have, how we will earn enough money for the future, etc.. Were both soon-to-graduate IT students and I want to be a UI/UX Designer while Bob wants to be a Web Developer. I am also a digital artist so I thought getting a job that’s both IT and design-related would be better off for me hence, UI/UX Design.
Now Bob is a huge believer of the universe being in charge of your good and bad karma (I’m not sure if I said that right or if there’s a word for it). Like, "be careful what you wish for, the universe will hear you" or "Don’t be mean to people, you’ll be heard and get bad karma" that sort of thing. I believe in it too but not as much as he does.
Onto the problem. We were just having a messenger conversation about our future and I was showing Bob some screenshots of what I was working on in Figma. A few minutes later, he suddenly says that "he feels the universe" and that he sees us in Japan together. I didn’t feel weirded out or anything but was happy since he says were together in our dream country. He then told me to continue working hard for the future to which I agreed to. All of a sudden he mentions that I should work hard especially because Animators are in demand in Japan. I was confused since I’m not even taking Animation and he knows that I’m going for UI/UX Design. I kindly told him that I’m not going to be an Animator but he just told me to shush and to not contradict the "universe". I was shocked and confused on the situation as he continues by saying "Don’t be negative when talking to the universe, me saying that doesn’t mean you’ll be an Animator" which is then followed up with "It’s gone, haha" so I just responded with an "Okeh", still in my confused state.
He then messaged "You probably didn’t understand what I just said, sorry" and then a "My mood isn’t good now" after. I apologized to him for being confused about the mention of Animators being in demand in Japan and for being negative and ruining his talk with the "universe". He just replied with "I’m probably just sleepy and it’s not the universe talking. I’m gonna sleep now, gnight" and went offline.
I feel that I am at fault for ruining his mood and I don’t know what to do to fix it but at the same time I think I’m not at fault since I was just confused about the entire thing and didn’t even say anything bad/wrong. So reddit, AITA?
NTA – it’s normal for people to have spirituality, to have a connection to the universe, or the earth, or God, or whatever and feel that it is telling them things and driving their behaviour/choices.
However, at the core, it’s really just them, it’s them having these feelings and ideas.
So it’s wrong of him to push his thoughts on to you, as if they are actually irrefutable facts “from the universe”.
It’s good that you can allow him to have those feelings, but you are 100% in the right to shut them down when he tries to use them to control you or dictate your actions.
NTA. I am so, so confused.
NTA
Be careful. People like him tend to push their own feelings and desires then say it’s a higher power making the decisions. We make our own path in life. Good luck
Nta your boyfriend doesn’t get to pick what u want to do for a living. You should definitely think about if this is the type of guy you want to be in a relationship with I’m sure this won’t be the only time he will pull something like this.
NTA. Are you super sure your boyfriend isn’t mentally ill? He’s the right age for several problems to start showing, including hearing voices like “the universe”. Just something to consider here.
Now its the universe telling him to go to japan. in a few years maybe its a dog telling him to kill his neighbours – nta
I think your boyfriend may be experiencing religious psychosis. Not just because he believes the universe is talking to him which is slightly strange but also because his messages are erratic and don’t make much sense. Schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders or bipolar is often missed when people’s delusions are spiritual or religious because people around them also believe to some extent that God exists and talks to people in a metaphorical sense not realizing that the person is actually having hallucinations or experiencing delusions.
NTA.
I wouldn’t take these kinds of things too seriously. Keep working on your goals, and keep letting Bob “talk to the universe,” but just say “oh wow interesting” or whatever when he starts telling you to do stuff and then continue on your way.
NTA. Also please open your eyes, your bf is using that visit to control you. If the universe wants you to be an animator, then it will get you to be an animator, doesn’t need him as intermediary. People like that claim they are only ones that can hear the universe, or God, or whatever they want to candle out, only to control others
The funny thing about people that communicate with super natural forces is that the force always seems to want what they want.