I 19 (M) have this friend 20(F) who insists every time we hang out we watch a movie. I don’t disagree I like movies so it’s fine, but the last few times she’s been insisting that she pick the movies and that I don’t get any say whatsoever. Last week she chose a movie which and I’m not exaggerating felt like the longest and slowest movie I’ve ever seen in my life. So instead last night I suggested we watch a movie we’ve both seen and enjoyed that we hadn’t seen in a long time. She said “I don’t enjoy good cinema” and “I’m always ruining the movie night”.
I tried compromising by saying I pick one week and she picks the next, but she kept insisting that whoever comes up with a good suggestion chooses which really frustrated me. I ended up putting on what she wanted and just tried to like it but as expected I didn’t really enjoy it.
I feel like because it’s my house that I should have a say in what we watch too. I’m not saying she can’t pick anything ever, but practically choosing every week in my house seems unfair. And I’d like to add even though the movie thing really frustrates me she’s still my friend and I won’t be cutting contact with her or anything so AITA?
NTA. Her not even wanting to compromise is weird. Just don’t watch movies with her anymore. Find other things to do.
Nta
NTA. It’s nuts that she’s insisting she picks every single time especially when it’s at your house! I think you should be able to pick, and if she hosts at her house she can pick. And you guys switch. Or every week switch is a great compromise that you suggested! She’s being ridiculous. Tell her if she wants to dictate every single movie then she can start a film club and not bother you with her superior movie taste.
NTA. Just because you’re friends doesn’t necessarily mean you both like all of the same things. You two should focus on finding things in common that you both enjoy and skip the movies altogether. You just don’t like the same types of movies and there’s nothing wrong with that!
Swap weeks / visits problem solved if she didn’t like what you pick she’s not come over it’s fine if you don’t like what she picked send her away
Info: who gets to decide if it’s a “good movie”. My guess is it’s her.
NTA.
Institute the three veto rule. We each get three vetos per movie night (without the other person being a contemptuous a hole.). No “you’re ruining movie night” or “you don’t know good movies”. There are a LOT of good movies that I have no interest in watching. Schindler’s List: excellent writing, acting, and cinematography,. Still not interested.
I’ve seen this dynamic in relationships between people your age ish, but you don’t say you two are together and even then it’s not a good dynamic. It’s fine if you’re learning boundaries and there’s give and take but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. Is this a new friendship?
Group activities though need to have group agreement.
NTA for refusing to give someone else full control of movie night.
NTA
Add the force of randomness.
you both write 5 movie titles on strips of paper.
I into a hat (or cereal bowl if you aren’t a hat person) they go.
Each hang out you take turns drawing a movie out of the bowl until empty.
NTA. It’s selfish of your friend to think she has the right to pick every single time. Taking turns is fair
Trade movie nights–your house one week, her house the next, and whoever’s house it is gets to pick. Who decided she’s the universal authority on what makes good cinema anyway??? NTA
Your friend is bullying you and you’ve been letting it happen in you’re own home.
How you choose to address this and change things is entirely up to you.
Or you could let the anger and resent continue to grow until you just don’t want to spend the time anymore.
NTA stand up for yourself. It really is not just alright, it’s a good choice.
NTA. Man up, and tell her if she can’t compromise like a normal person, she can go watch her movies alone. Put your foot down and mean it.
Nta. Not because it’s your house, just because she’s being kinda rude, you should either agree on a movie or take turns like you suggested.