Me (16F) and my “boyfriend” (17M) are a complicated situation. We have been talking for 8 months but we tend to do everything a couple would (petnames, calling eachother bf/gf). I have made it clear to him we arent official unless he makes that move, and I think he is planning on it soon. However, i’ve had a problem being fully myself around him and me and my counselor have concluded it has ties to a specific situation. I’m a person who is very mature most of the time, but I tend to show a childish side when i get comfortable. I prank called him a few months ago saying i got arrested, let the call go on for about a minute and then while telling him is was a prank, the internet glitched and disconnected the call. He was VERY distant and damn near ghosting for a full 4 days. I’m not too worried about it anymore and we’ve moved on. But, I think this is a situation i would grow a bit from knowing if i’m genuinely evil for that. I felt horrible but, also felt if our “humor”/personalities clashed in the moment he could’ve handled it differently, or that he’s not for me because i have a personality that might be overbearing for his type? A few people have told me i am the AH for playing jokes about things that serious. Please do not be harsh on either party, this is a past situation and there are no hard feelings. I also do not appreciate the “you’re just kids” stereotype, yes I know that. However, I believe teens should be able to have experiences and serious relationships, no matter if it’s not a guaranteed success.
YTA. Pranks are supposed to be harmless fun. Pranks that make one party upset, angry, emotional etc are not pranks, it’s just someone being mean to someone else.
YTA
You lied about getting arrested. This has nothing to do with a sense of humor. This isn’t funny. Grow up.
YTA. What the hell is this?
You say teens should be able to experience serious relationships, but you act like a 5yo.
Who thinks pranks like that are funny?
I would have dumped you so quickly for that shit. He should have too.
YTA have you actually spoken about this since? Like what was he going through when the line cut out and you were rofling at your great (definitely mature) prank?
Also from this I’m guessing you’ve not met? Or at least aren’t closely located? So any “I’m in danger / I need your help” pranks will just intensify that feeling of helplessness
no we are not long distance
How was the joke meant to be funny? Was being arrested an in-joke you were both fully aware of? If you can’t explain why the person you’re telling it to should find it funny, you shouldn’t have done the joke to begin with.
YTA. Explain where the fun is in this prank for him?
He is worried about you doesnt know if youre safe etc but haha it’s so very funny.
Its incredibly immature and toxic behavior to purposefully make your partner worried sick even if it’s only for a bit. Why would you want your partner to experience negative feelings, seriously what is fun about that?
Also for the record. You’d be YTA regardless of the stage your relationship is in. It has nothing to do with it
“I don’t appreciate the “you’re just kids” stereotype”
A stereotype you are putting so much effort to reinforce. You are not mature enough for a relationship yet.
YTA if comfort compromises your judgment this bad. What was meant to be funny by making him believe you’d been arrested? How was he meant to see the funny side about being deceived like that? Stop making this a Him problem when this apparent personality incapability stems more from your own actions.
Is this a situation you yourself would enjoy if he did to you?
The problem with a prank like that one is that when something like what happened to you before you could end it, it causes actual damage. Real fear, panic, a sense of helplessness which are genuinely upsetting. And in the back of his mind, he’s always going to wonder if your internet ACTUALLY went out or if that was part of the prank. Before playing a joke on someone you should ALWAYS stop and think. If something comes between you and the punchline, will your “audience” be okay or is it going to hurt their feelings.
Hopefully you’ve sincerely apologized to him. No qualifiers. Just I’m sorry, it was a thoughtless thing to do. Everyone makes mistakes. Not having the life experience to realize in advance how badly it could go wrong doesn’t make you evil. Generally I think pranking your partner is a bad idea. We don’t use the term “victim of a prank” for no reason. The person on the receiving end pretty often feels embarrassed, angry, foolish or resentful. There are other ways to express a childish side that can’t hurt anyone, and there’s nothing wrong with being cute and silly sometimes. Soft YTA because wisdom comes from experience and I don’t think you intended to hurt him.
But why does he have to be the one to take the step into a serious relationship? That seems like a bit of a sexist attitude. If you’ve done other things similar to the prank in question, it may be what’s holding him back. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re WILLING to be serious, and you should take the risk of showing him that you are.
YTA
“in the moment he could’ve handled it differently” .. NO. This was ALL your fault.
but as long as you learned not to do that abusive bullshit again, you will be fine. It is only a prank when all are laughing.
” However, I believe teens should be able to have experiences and serious relationships, ” .. are you? Can you stop the abusive bullshit?
YTA, you are acting like a five year old. You’re not mature enough for a relationship lol. Having a childish side does not mean actively hurting people you say you care about because it makes you laugh. That’s not funny. Grow up, at 16 you should know far better.