So me (18) and my friend (27) stopped being friends in june of 2023. I won’t go into too much of how it happened, but she was a niche micro-celeb on youtube and tiktok and got called out for some innapropriate messages she sent me and someone else I used to know, without going into the details we were underage and she was talking to us about sex and roleplaying sexual scenarios with us. Moreover she had written a sort of fanfiction where I got tortured by one of her characters and begged this same character to have relations with me. I was 9-12 when most of this happened. This person, we will call him Colin, used my screenshots in this video that I had sent to him in confidence when I was asking him for advice. At the time I had said that he could use them, but after the post was made I ended up regretting it and begging him to delete it. He didn’t, and at thst point the damage had been done and she was no longer my friend.
I had met this woman when I was 9 through youtube, so obviously I was having a very hard time adjusting to not having her to rely on. As she had helped me many hard times throughout my life. When we stopped being friends it was her boyfriend who told me and not her, and that made me crave a final conversation with her. I was extremely stupid and made a fake account to message her, pretending I was somebody I’m not. Of course this was a massive mistake, and in the end I did tell her it was me.
I have been to therapy but it doesn’t really help, almost every month I would get horrible thoughts and feelings about missing her and would try and contact and message her to talk things out. It never worked, she was steadfast in giving me the silent treatment. It even got so bad that at one point I brought her patreon just to talk to her. I found out at one point when messaging her boyfriend that she was groomed when she was a child and thats why she thought it was okay to send those messages, so now I think I might be the only asshole here and my want for closure is just me being a twat. I still want that final conversation with her, and I want to try and fix things somewhat, but shes making me feel like I’m just being a creep and now I’m unsure whether I am or not.
Alot of my friends who I have spoken to say that she is being cruel by ignoring me like this. Especially because she met me when I was so young, but I feel like they may be biased because they know me. Thanks for reading, please let me know.
what sort of friendship was this? an 18 year old has NO business befriending a *NINE* year old at all
I liked some of her stuff on youtube and thats how we became friends. That age gap is sort of the reason we stopped being friends.
A LOT more context is needed here. Exactly what kind of ‘friendship’ was this and what was the content of the messages? I am wary of any sexual conversation between a full grown adult and a teenager
My bad, ive updated it a bit with some more info
She is not and never was your friend. She is a predator who exposed you to things you never should have been exposed to and caused you to form an unhealthy attachment to her during critical developmental years of your life. None of that is your fault. Unfortunately, you are the only person who can heal the trauma she caused you. Therapy and friends and family can help, but ultimately you have to see the situation for what it really is. She is a disgusting sick person who was rightfully called out for her terrible actions. 9 years later, what she did is still harming you. Talking to her again will not make you feel better.
NTA get therapy, stop contacting her and block the boyfriend. Likely they are just going to use it as evidence that you wanted it etc later. You were groomed, and the bf is making excuses to pretend otherwise. YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PUT IN THAT POSITION.
No adult needs to befriens a 9 year old. Nothing about this is okay. You are going into withdrawal bc of how she treated you. You need to free yourself from her, stop spending money on her and honestly need someone to take control of your social media until you have gone througj therapy and can deal with this better.
Move on with your life. Do not contact her or her boyfriend again. You do not need a final conversation.
Make friends with people your own age and spend less time on the Internet.
NTA. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. She was an adult and should not have formed any kind of sexual relationship with you when you were a child, and you did nothing wrong in seeking advice from someone. I am sorry that they too then betrayed your trust – but again, that’s on them, not on you.
I know it hurts that she won’t speak to you, but you can’t control her actions and I don’t think that trying to renew your relationship will ultimately be in your best interests. Keep up with the therapy (try another if you think that might help), and try to lean on friends who know you are will help you to rebuild your life without her.
It will get better.