Okay, so here’s the problem.
Me and my friend are good friends, we started our friendship from second class and now I am in 9th.
He have bad days now, something with parents, and from that point to today’s date he calls me practically EVERY DAY, it’s… irritating, to be honest. I tried to answer him every day, but I want to think about my own problems, not listen to him yapping his problems to me EVERY DAY…
Thought, I am concerned because from now on he started… Having some strange love to… Uh… Bad people, playing some games I don’t appreciate (Hatred and etc.), shows ME gore pictures. I am scared for him, but I just can’t be his therapist.
Today I not answered him 5 times.
Update: I answered his 6th call. He wanted to ask me "what to buy on steam"… I feel like most talks with him end up useless.
NTA.
You’re exactly right, you’re not his therapist, and you’re allowed to and should have your own mental time and space.
Also, if the things he is sending you are making you uncomfortable and concerned, have a chat with one of your parents about it.
It is not a legal requirement to answer your phone. NTA
But maybe just tell him to stop
NTA
This isn’t friendship drama. It’s emotional labor without consent.
The mechanism is role creep. Your friend slid you into an unpaid therapist position because you’re available and familiar, not because you’re qualified. In psychology this shows up as co-rumination, where constant venting feels supportive but actually amplifies distress for both people. Add the gore and shock content and it crosses into boundary violation, not just oversharing.
The incentive is survival, not malice. He’s looking for regulation and validation wherever he can get it. The pivot is bigger. A lot of kids are being forced to substitute peers for adult support systems that aren’t there, and it burns out friendships fast.
NTA, that’s a lot to have to deal with talk to your parents and make sure you have support.
There’s a healthy amount of venting between friends and everyday isn’t that and you shouldn’t have to deal with that or him showing you gore.
It sucks but you can’t fix him nor are you qualified and it’ll only drag you both down more,
please consider telling an adult in your life about it.
NTA. Have you tried telling him to stop calling you so much.
Yeah, once, at least. I am not really into conflicts, but I did.
I had a similar issue and by day 4 I told my friend that I’m not a phone person and we talk at school so I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Luckily she resoected my boundary.
If your friend does not respect your boundary then he isn’t a friend. Nta
Nta – I am a lot older than you but had the same problems with my old neighbour. We were good friends and sadly he was going through a divorce. For 4 years I listened to him and his wife screaming at each other next door and then I’d listen to his woes about the argument for 2 or 3 hours in the pub afterwards. 2 or 3 times a week. Then, when my own relationship fell apart and I wanted someone to talk to about it, he was never willing to listen and turned every conversation into one about his own drama. On the end I have up and stopped talking to him when I moved away.
A relationship should never be about what you “get” from the other person, but it should still be a two way thing where both of you support each other in times of need and if you aren’t getting that from your friend, then maybe start with having a chat with him and explaining what’s wrong and that you feel like he ignores your problems when you’ve always been there for his. But ultimately, if that doesn’t work or you don’t feel the relationship is beneficial for you anymore, then you don’t have any obligation to remain his friend. Friendships are worth working on, but they should never be a prison.
That last part about Steam seems telling. It reminds me of my six year old who gets up at night to insist on telling me something really urgent, and it turns out to be about Harry Potter.
NTA, but I do wonder: have you said anything to him? Have you said you can’t talk as often? You do have to address some things personally, with a combination of both kindness and firmness, as part of being friends with people or simply getting through life.