Am i the a hole I am a 25(f) who works a minimum wage job . Have I 27(f) siblings who I have been financially , supporting here and there for a while .
Context: My siblings has been struggling financially for I while since she hasn’t been able to keep a job . she has 2 children who are pretty young ,so she has been struggling to find babysitters . She does have a male who she lives ,with that is currently in sort of an internship. I have helped he out her in there for a while even paying for classes so she can become a rn , paying for pampers things for the kids . Things she might need etc but it’s been taking a toll on me financially not to where. I can’t afford anything but ,I like my money isn’t my own . It’s gotten to the point where it’s kinda expected now ,I don’t mind helping when needed . I just feel like I am the fall back for ever situation, I had a similar issue with my mom a since . I stop providing the funds I have had I significant financial increase, and I kinda weight lifted . This time she ask d to pay her phone bill and it is important for more interviews
Am I the a hole if I say that I can’t. I know she needs the job ,and she needs contact for interviews but this isn’t the first time something like this happened.
Nta. she chose to have kids and needs to pay her own bills. not your job to pay for her choices. you need to live your own life and build your own savings, not pay for her life.
NTA. She will keep using you if you allow it. If she really is looking for a job, she will find a way to pay her own phone bill.
NTA. She needs to figure out her own budget and stay within her means. As long as she has unlimited credit from you, she will feel entitled to the money you earn. You should cut her off.
NTA. Two grown adults and she can’t pay her bills? She needs to get rid of the man or the phone, one of them is dead weight. I know which one I’d send packing.
What is it with these new posts? They are terribly written.
If you remove all the dots and assume you need to fix every other word, your brain starts fixing the sentences for you.
Not sure if what I understood is what OP wrote but I understood something, lol
NTA. It’s nice to be able to help family but when it becomes expected it’s not help anymore. I don’t know where you are but Mint mobile has phone plans for 15 dollars. There are programs to help with food, rent, hearing etc, churches and other organizations that have food and clothes cupboards.
Your sister needs to start utilizing all the programs at her disposal and if she had any training, CNA or LPN she should be working at least per diem and bringing some money into her household. She could work weekend shifts or overnight shifts and the children’s father can watch them for free like during visitation.
The only way she’ll learn to stand on her own is if you stop helping so much and allow her to figure it out.
Nta, you are not responsible for paying her bills
NTA. You only have a minimum wage job. There’s a limit to what you can do, and you need one able to both sustain yourself and save at least ten percent of your income before anything else so an emergency doesn’t wipe you out.
It is your sibling’s job to support those kids, not yours. The father needs to get a job and support them. If that’s the dude with the internship, he either needs to quit and get a job, or work a paying job on top of the internship.
There are programs to help out in this situation, and they should be using them instead of you.
Frankly, having kids before you can support them often means the parent’s future is delayed and it’s unfair for them to expect you to suffer.
NTA. Your sister needs to get her butt in gear and figure things out. She’s nearly 30. You tell No, it’s no longer possible and repeat as needed. Do not giver her any explanations about how this is affecting you. “No, it’s no longer possible.”
I have already gone above and beyond to help. Your sister could rely on you as a crutch instead of your partner or even considering other options like government subsiddies. Towards that end you can have a conversation with a college student to brainstorm some of the best resources for a childcare/job search. Your own financial stability matters too, and constant rescues might actually prevent her from developing the needed coping skills.
Your sister and your mother are both older than you, yet you are supporting them. I think you need to cut them off financially so they stop using you as a crutch. They need to start figuring out how to adult. Your sister has a partner living with her. You should not be the one she turns to for help. Your mother should be the one you can ask for help as young as you are. Tell them you can’t afford to help them, and that you need to save for emergencies.
NTA. You cannot allow yourself to struggle to help your sister. What happens if you have an emergency? Who will help you? Make sure to take care of your own needs first.