AITA For breakfast this morning? So for context last night me and my girlfriend deep cleaned our kitchen. Honestly wasn’t that bad took us about an hour and half together to get it done. Last night my girlfriend told me she wants to wake up to a clean kitchen in the morning so when I wake up to get the kids breakfast to give the cereal and put their bowls in the dishwasher. Now this morning I wake up and I wanted pancakes. Didn’t want to give the kids cereal as they just had some yesterday and figured a nice meal of pancakes and yogurt and a fruit would be awesome! So I make breakfast and when that’s done feed the kids. At this point she is still asleep so when the kids were done eating I gather everything up. Now I know she wanted to wake up to a not dirty kitchen so I rinse everything off to the point there there was no food or residue left on anything. Wipe down the stove and counter to make sure that was clean and then threw what I could in the dishwasher. Only thing left on the counter was the pan I used to make the pancakes and the bowl I used to mix the batter into. So at this point I was like okay well outside of those 2 this kitchen is clean and spotless. We have no been fighting for an hour and a half because of that. She didn’t even get up to look at the kitchen AT ALL. She just asked me what I made for breakfast cause she could smell something I said pancakes and immediately started getting angry and coming at me about how could I go against her and that I am an asshole for doing that. So AITA when I did what I thought was a good thing for the kids and did the work to where i at least thought at the time it would make her happy? If I am the asshole for going against her wishes then so be it but I just need to know cause I honestly feel like I wasn’t.
EDIT: For the people in the comments who thinks I was just leaving them for her or anyone else to do later that is not the case. I left them to wash with lunch as she is going to be at work and it was only going to be a couple of hours until I started cooking lunch. I understand leaving them for her to do would be an asshole thing so I was not doing that. I also did not come here to be clueless and have people tell me I was in the right. If I was wrong that’s fine I can handle that.
NTA, kitchens are meant to be used. “Let’s clean it once and then not use it for a while,” is ridiculous. It’s a pan and a bowl. There would also be cereal bowls and spoons. The kids don’t have a nice breakfast because she wants to wake up and admire her museum kitchen?
> my girlfriend told me she wants to wake up to a clean kitchen in the morning so when I wake up to get the kids breakfast to give the cereal and put their bowls in the dishwasher.
Bowls in the dishwasher – kitchen still looks tidy.
> threw what I could in the dishwasher. Only thing left on the counter was the pan I used to make the pancakes and the bowl I used to mix the batter
He knew she wanted a clean kitchen… why not wash those items?
YTA for not washing the pan and the bowl and putting them away. Why would you leave for those someone who didn’t even participate in the meal to deal with?
ESH- she assumed the kitchen was a mess instead of seeing if it actually was or not and starting a fight based on assumptions. However, if it’s “just a bowl and pan” why couldn’t you quickly hand wash/dry/put them away so it was actually clean?
This is the real answer tbh. He ignored what she said (*twice* \- she asked to have a clean kitchen to come down to, which he ignored, and she asked him to get cereal for the kids, which he also ignored – albeit for his own reasons). She overreacted because she hadn’t seen the dirty kitchen before she started the argument (so she was just reacting to them not having cereal), but she is clearly drawing from past experiences and knowing that OP most likely did not clean up fully…
Any particular reason you stopped cleaning up after breakfast when 2 dishes were still dirty?
Esp when those two dishes are like the only actual dishes used to make said pancakes.
Why are you like this? She told you what she needed. You decided to cook and not finish cleaning up. It’s not the cooking it’s the not finishing then acting all clueless. Then acting more clueless and coming to Reddit to complain.
YNTA for making pancakes.
YTA for not washing and putting away your dishes. All of them.
YTA. Hand washing those two items would have taken no more than 5 minutes. She’s clearly expressed what she wanted, was it that hard to actually listen?
The important part to me is that she started arguing before even seeing the kitchen, so she didn’t even know whether the two dirty dishes existed. She’s either just generally unhinged or you two have other underlying problems starting to boil over. NTA
YTA for not finishing the clean up job. It doesn’t matter that you planned to clean them. The best laid plans go sideways all the time. It’s that she asked for a clean kitchen when she got up and you went against her ask, started the clean up job but didn’t finish it. The way she yelled at you right off tells me you have a pattern of leaving a mess and/or have a habit of not honoring her requests when you think you know better.
But the kitchen wasn’t clean when she got in there. You said that there were still stuff on the counter after y’all spent hours doing the deep clean last night. And to say that you rinsed everything?? You need to wash it!
Why wouldn’t you just clean the last 2 dishes?