Basically my friend told me a secret about themselves like they haven’t told anybody else. They told me never to mention it again or bring it up again and well i didnt think i will. Now we were hanging out today and we were joking around nd stuff and i brought it up. After that they said , i told you not to bring it up , and then got a bit upset. I said sorry a lot and they said its fine , but its fine is never fine. I also did a fuckass thing like this recently too same person. This is a really close person to me and im really pissed i cant shut my mouth. Idk why i just say stuff. Ik i am the asshole. How do i control this shitty behaviour?
Your friend told you a secret and asked you to not share it with people and then you shared it with a group of people what do you expect to happen?
YTA, your friend has a right to be mad at you. If this is a common thing for you then honestly just stop letting people tell you secrets until you know that you’d be able to handle them.
Well yes, you are.
From now on, tell people not to tell you secrets.
Don’t put that on yourself, if you know you are someone who cant keep a secret dont let people tell them to you.
At least you’re aware of that shitty behavior. The thing is, if someone trusts you enough to tell you something and make themselves that vulnerable… and you turn around and do the one thing they asked you not to do? That’s being selfish and putting your need to bad above their trust in you. And you’ve done it before? If I were your friend, that would be it. Bridge burned. You would not get the chance to betray me again, no matter what you promised. I say take it as a lesson learned and hope one day you find another friend that will trust you. But I’m betting it won’t be this one.
I’m not clear. Did you bring it up in front of other people or was it just you & your friend?
Note that we both were hanging out privately, i only mentioned it to them privately not anyone else. No one else heard it
That does not matter, your friend asked you not to mention it and you still did. You need to learn to keep quiet and respect people’s wishes.
Yeah, you did a dumb. As hard as it may be if you are recalling information, ask yourself “am i violating my friends trust or confidence.” While you may have done this off the cuff that kind of thing can lead to lost friends. Give it a day or two and really apologise and show remorse in this, bring them out for a coffee and tell them you really feel bad about this. if you just go “sorry sorry” and move on that friend may not trust you with private information again. But being your second time , Really think before you speak especially if it is information given in confidence.
YTA, you need to learn to take boundaries seriously and that if you divulge a secret that someone specifically told you not to say anything about, that this is both horrible (is totally on you) and will also end up costing you relationships and friendships.
I have dropped a number of “friends” who could not keep their mouthes shut regarding things told them in confidence and for ALL of these cases, they were the culprits and certainly not I (and I certainly am much better off without them and without people I cannot trust to keep quiet when I tell them things that are supposed to be kept secret).
One thing you might consider is that when you feel the need to mention something that is or probably is a secret, write this down to get it off your chest and then tear up the piece of paper and throw the paper bits in the trash.
Fucking asshole.
YTA
YTA either when the thought pops up in your head for you to say it, you need to say literally anything else, or you need to tell them that you can’t be trusted with specific information. If you know that you can’t help but save people secrets, you need to not let people tell you their secrets.
> How do i control this shitty behaviour?
Did it ever occur to you to ‘think’ before you speak? Actually, don’t auto talk, THINK first, then speak. It’s a good lifelong habbit.
NTA but your friend is. They should have known your untrustworthy and should never tell you anything important or a secret. They should have treated you like a coworker and not a friend but I feel They learned their lesson well. Dont be upset if people distance themselves from you cause your a leaky cauldron.