I, 19F, recently had a family party at my house. I originally planned to just make it close family but I was convinced by my other family members that I should invite some cousins as well. My childhood cat also recently passed away and I have been very hurt by his passing. It is very recent and only happened last month. I was very close with my cat and he was like my best friend. Most of my family knows about what happened and have been very supportive. Anyways, at the party everyone was having a good time. I was talking to two of the cousins I invited and catching up with them. My cat came up in conversation and I was talking about how much I miss him and how Ive been dealing with everything. I told her how my cat died which was from falling off of my apartment’s balcony. Later on, I knocked over a glass that was on the kitchen counter and it broke. Everyone obviously heard it break and noticed that it fell and kind of stopped what they were doing and talking about for a brief moment. When that happened, my cousin blurted out, "Oh it fell and broke just like your cat" and she started laughing. No one really laughed but no one told her off about it. I was hurt by what she said immediately and got mad at her. I asked her how she thinks that’s appropriate and okay to say especially since my cat died super recently and It’s still really fresh. She got mad and we started yelling at each other and I ended up kicking her out of my apartment. Once she left, some of my family said I was too harsh and I should’ve just let it go because "I kind of killed the vibe". I got mad and stayed quiet the rest of the party. Once everyone left I was confronted in a group chat about my harsh words and actions. Everyone said I hurt my cousins feelings because I made her feel shunned from a family event. They want me to apologize to her and admit that I was just acting out and taking things too serious. Am I the asshole??
Whooooaaa NTA, but your cousin sure is. What an awful thing to say. You were right to kick her out and if you tell your family to fuck off for defending her, you’ll be right about that too.
But it was OK for her to hurt your feelings? NTA
NTA you are GRIEVING the loss of your cat and she made an insensitive joke and whilst some people cope through comedy it seem like you don’t
Definitely NTA cut that cousin off.
Def NTA. Belittling a significant death is cruelty at its core. You just don’t go there, and nothing you kid around about. And I’m sorry for your loss.
100% NTA if your cousin has an once of empathy in her she’d understand you are grieving
NTA. It’s easy to be callous about someone’s pet if you have no empathy and have never had one of your own. If someone had made a joke about my dog after he passed away, I’m not sure how I would have reacted, but it would not have been pretty.
NTA. She should have apologized, and done what she could to make you feel better. Especially since it was at your family’s house. Just because a bunch of people think you were the one at fault doesn’t make it so. Different people grieve differently. I’m sorry about your cat, and sorry this happened.
NTA, your cousin is awful.
A rare case of everyone else being wrong and you being right, I think you should tell everyone that you’re the one that is owed a apology and say you are ready to die on this hill, you didn’t “act out” for no reason but rather to insensitivity towards something touching
Your cousin is socially inept. What a jackass comment on her part.
NTA but your entire family are AHs!! I wouldn’t speak to that cousin again until she apologizes. As far as the rest of your family.. They owe you some sympathy and support and hell, even an apology for trying to push you to apologize to her
Your response does not change the fact that what your cousin said was cruel and disrespectful. Making a joke out of an animals death is shitty behavior. Just because they’re willing to excuse bad behavior doesn’t mean you’re wrong. NTA