I (17f) told my family that I will be moving out the second I turn 18. For my entire life I have be neglected and treated like an outcast. I have brought this up with them plenty of times before on a respectful manner. My aunt who adopted wants me to stay as I do college. The reason I want to leave right away is due to her toxic and emotionally neglectful habits she portrays to me. I currently am working almost full time and a student. My grades are all As and I am being promoted to a manager when I’m 18. I make good money for my age and have a ton of people outside of my family who supports me. Here is when things get difficult. I got in an argument with my aunt and I told her that I will cut contact at 18 if she continues her toxic habits and traits. Mind you I have done multiple therapy sessions though the years and had hundreds of conversations with her but nothing changes. AITA?
Absolutely not, you do what’s best for you.
NTA. Do what’s best for you.
Make sure that you get your paperwork: birth certificate and social security card.
NTA but is it wise to proactively tell them you’re cutting them out? Better to quietly plan your escape, than give them a chance to sabotage your plans. What if you realize you need a month or two longer than you thought to get everything organized? They may already have other plans for your room after years of you saying you’d leave on your 18th birthday and they may not be inclined to give you an extension.
So I’d keep my head down, graduate, get the best scholarship you can, and the quietly go.
I have people who are willing to let me stay with them till I get on my feet fully. I have great coworkers and friends willing to help me get out of his unfortunate situation
Glad to hear that
Just be aware that people saying they’d help and people actually helping are two vastly different concepts
Agree on keeping it quiet and just executing the plan in secret
Please make sure you have all your important papers together and get them to a safe place, and also have your savings in a place to which your aunt doesn’t have access . You sound extremely responsible and ready to go, particular given that you have people beyond your family who support you. If your aunt hasn’t changed in all these years, it’s very unlikely she’ll change now. You have every right to live a better life and seek the future that’s best for you. NTA
NTA, but, as others have stated, it probably would have been best to keep your plans to yourself until you are actually 18, and able and ready to move out. Your family can make life even worse for you in the interim, and will likely do everything in their power to foil your plans. You should know as much as possible in advance, where you will stay, how much everything will cost, a rough idea of how your days will be scheduled. Good luck to you, I have faith in you and your future success!
NTA but stop telling anyone about it. Get your important papers in order and when you’re 18 just bounce. Letting her know in advance will just make her work harder to keep you there. Execute your plan in secret or she will make it way harder for you to leave.
NTA but I wouldn’t be announcing your plans so openly. Id make peace for now, keep your head down, make sure that your money is in a bank account they can’t access and have your ID / birth certificate ect secured.
You’ve made your position clear but what happens if you don’t have somewhere ready the moment you turn 18 you’re just setting yourself to be kicked out or otherwise fucked with financially if they’ve legal access to your bank accounts as you’re a minor.
NTA
To repeat what another person said, be sure you have your birth certificate, adoption record, tax returns before you leave.
If things are really volatile, don’t tell them your plans. Quietly take clothing and personal items and store them with a friend.
NTA. However, if your adoption was from foster care or you have deceased relatives, you should check into whether there’s an adoption stipend, continued support, or social security your aunt currently receives that could go to you. If anyone helped you open your bank account(s), close them and open new ones to ensure they have no access. Be sure to forward all mail with your name on it with the post office as soon as you know your new address and file your taxes ASAP the year after you move out, so you can’t be claimed as a dependent when trying to file independently.