Hello, I am going to apologies for the LONG post, but this is a long story.
I (16F) was having a tough time in life. I was a cheer captain but hurt my back badly due to a stunt going wrong. I was a base and caught her wrong. I pushed through the pain for a while. This all happened in July. By August I was at the point of crying when I sat down in a school chair for too long because it hurt so bad. So I was forced to pull back from cheer and school, where my friends were. Of course this caused some depressing thoughts and other things that I will not get into.
I was getting pretty lonely. Sooo I made friends online. One of these friends’ names AJ (18M). I knew him for a month before we told each other our names of course. We spent a lot of time together. We played valorant, roblox, minecraft. We watched KMK videos and Marvel movies. We had a lot in common. I met AJ in August. Fast-forward to October. I turned 17. I had said I liked AJ as more than a friend to him before, he said no because of the age gap and that we were good friends. After I turned 17 he asked me to be his gf. I told him I would think about it. (I just wanted to make him wait) I said sure.
We are together to this day. The only thing is I did not tell my parents. Why? Because thigs happened last time they found out about something they did not like. It scarred me to the point where people can not walk down the hall if I am trying to sleep it gives me PTSD. I will not go into details it is against community rules.
AJ (18M) and I (17F) met up. Ik not the smartest move. He flew to me, and I knew his age was legit because I saw his drivers license and I also spoke to his mother. Also I stalked their facebook pages and told a friend what I was doing. So it felt safe to me. (Still have not told my parents)
WELL THEY FOUND OUT!
I turned 18 before they found out. But they have been making a lot of hateful jokes. Its been 2 months of them knowing now. I am still getting mean jokes and bullying. They gossip about me to all their friends. Then make me tell the story to family members that look at me with such disgust and distain. It really is starting to get to me. AJ was there when I was at my lowest. Not my parents, not my parents friends, not my family members, AJ. I did expect they would be mad. But being bullied for 2 months after is not what I was thinking. I confronted them about it and they said they were just "teasing" and that I am such a GEN Z.
Idrk what to do anymore AITAH?
EDIT: just to give some context and clear up things.
what happened in the past PG version: I had online friends over covid I was 13. my parents found out and came into my room in the middle of the night. I was yelled at and more and had innap threats made against me. I was then made fun of for this for months. about how I couldn’t make friends irl because I was too shy and weird by my parents.
the bullying now: my parents make fun of his appearance. They say he is similar to my brother and that I’m dating my brother basically. (they are not similar just because they play video games). they make me tell the story how I met him to other to embarrass and shame me. They point at my brother when I show others his photo, saying “who does he look like?” again he doesn’t he has glasses and dark hair…? diff face shapes, eye shapes, nose shapes.. etc.
Your parents sound manipulative and unsupportive. NTA and get out of there as soon as you can.
NTA. You have abusive, cruel parents. It makes perfect sense that you hid him from them when they’re going to be so awful about it. You’re not in the wrong at all, and I hope you’re okay. Are you capable of moving out? If I were you I’d start making my own independence and then go no contact with them.
You are NTA, and AJ sounds like he’s great, BUT this is just a friendly reminder that the person who should love and care for you the most right now is you. Relationships change so much in your teens and 20s, so enjoy every moment it don’t become dependent on getting love, validation, or support from someone that may move on in a different direction in the future. Make sure you are putting yourself in a position to be self sufficient and break any reliance on your parents, so that you can work towards your own independence and remove yourself from their unnecessary and hurtful comments and behaviors without falling into a more difficult situation. You’ve got this!
Aw! Tysm (:
I’ve been working hard to not be co-dependent on him and loving myself. It has been a difficult journey but I’ve grown a lot in the 2 years of knowing him. He has been very understanding. I’ll be going off to college next August. So I’m just trying to find a solution as of what to do while I’m still here.
Info: Why did you have to leave the school? You were injured and you could not do your sport anymore… but why leave school?
i will go and assume since she could not sit for long periods of time like school required withouth being in enough pain to cry she could not attend physical classes anymore
I didn’t leave sorry for the miscommunication, but I could not sit in a chair without tear provoking pain. So I stopped going due to having to be picked up every other day.
Definitely NTA. You’re 18 now, an adult, don’t let your parents treat you this way.
I would be looking for a way out.
Is it impossible to find romance closer to home these days? It’s so dangerous to be so young, to trust people who are long distance… You seem to have tried to make sure he was not being a creep but please do not meet people like this in hotels/motels/similar ever. There are predators out there. Be careful.
NTA but do tell your parents/family to stop talking about what happened, that what they are/were doing was not simply “teasing” and that your opinion of them has been altered because of it, not for the better.
You need a new family.
Your parents are cruel.
NTA
But I don’t even understand what the bullying is about?
INFO: I know you say it’s against community rules and it’s a “traumatic” experience, but i have a hard time comprehending why everyone is just taking what you say as face value without knowing anything about the context. What exactly happened that made them react this way?
If it’s along the lines of “I was talking to a stranger online and tried to meet up with them”, similar to the current situation you’re in, their concern is 100% warranted. You may think this specific situation ended up fine, but in the process you exhibited extremely poor decision making that could have potentially put you in a very dangerous situation.
NTA. You’re definitely old enough to have a boyfriend. That is a developmentally appropriate thing and a 1.5 to 2 year age gap is literally nothing. And how you meet literally doesn’t matter. What matters is you make each other happy. Your parents are being straight up mean. You’re right to use the word bullying. I don’t know why they insist on making you feel bad. You’re a teenage girl with a boyfriend; that’s not weird