Let me explain. I liked one of my friends, and it was soon known by everyone somehow. My friend also liked me, but we never became anything and that was alright, I guess, because I started to develop feelings for their bsf since they spent more time with me. Anyway, me and their bsf started to hang out A LOT. I doubt it means anything, but I was still happy with a small crush that probably won’t go anywhere. However, today my bsf confessed that she liked them too and now I’m conflicted. I can’t be happy for her because I liked them before her, I just never told her. It’s funny because my bsf told me that they had a lot of chemistry, but when she gave me her evidence, it made me laugh because that was nothing. If that’s chemistry, I’d think me and my crush would be dating now. I really don’t know what to do, to be honest. I’m definitely backing off because that’s girl code, but damn, this person really is one of a kind and it’s so sad to have to let go. I don’t really think it would’ve been appropriate even if my bsf didn’t like them since I did have smth going with their bsf. But does it really matter if it was nothing? I feel so bad, but I can’t help but feel this way. I think my bsf likes them because she’s getting bare minimum and I think I am too. I just think it’s annoying to have to let go.
EDITED: She confessed to me, not my crush. Nobody knows anything.
EDITED: Okay, thanks guys for knocking sense into me. I don’t know why I acted that way. I know we can’t hog anyone, but that’s just how girl code is. If one already said they liked them, you can’t pursue them. It’s obviously up to the crush, but it’s more of an asshole to continue liking a person after your friend said they liked them. That was mainly my point.
Yta. Im gonna assume you’re all teenagers. Here’s the thing: people are not objects. You cannot claim someone. Especially if nothing came of it? Really? Come on now.
YTA, you don’t own ppl. How mad she beat you to it
The phrase “when she gave me her evidence, it made me laugh”, automatically makes YTA.
Even if you and your friend have the same crush, and maybe you get along with the guy a bit better, there’s no reason to speak that way about her feelings with the guy. Like what? Makes you feel superior cause you have a better rs with the guy? I don’t think your friend told you how she feels for you to ridicule her. Also, most of the times, our own perspective of our friendship/relationship can be tinted by our own desires. Perhaps hence, why she thinks they have good chemistry. You might have the same tinted perspective too. You just don’t think so. Until he actually asks one of you out, both of you are nothing to him.
I totally get what you’re saying, I’m sorry if I made it sound like I laughed at her and said all that to her. I didn’t, I just meant it like how a person laughs at how their friend thinks eye contact is a sign, but you’ll always support her delusions type way.
But yeah you’re definitely right on the meaning nothing to him. I just wanted to share how I felt abt it so I could knock some sense into myself
YTA. Neither of you can hog this person. It depends on which one of you they choose.
Yeah, but do u, like, understand what I’m trying to say? Like u can’t like a person anymore cause of girl code? Like yeah, obviously it’s up to the crush, but once your friend tells u abt the crush, you can’t pursue that person anymore.
That really isn’t true at all. Even if one of you went after him there’s literal millions of other options. Unless one of you is outright in love with him (which would be weird at this stage) neither of you has a reason to get upset. Neither of you should be horrifically upset that a person you had a small crush on ended up dating your friend.
If you knew she was pursuing him and went after him behind her back then yes that’d be rude, but you could just be open with her about it. Whichever of you ends up dating him (which could be neither of you at the end of the day) should just be happy for the other. If something as small as “me and my best friend like the same person!” can destroy your friendship then the friendship likely wasn’t that strong to begin with.
it definitely wouldn’t ruin it, but i dont know how I would go about it even if I do decide to let her know
IMO if you’re actually planning on pursuing or asking him out then I say you should let her know. But if you’re going to just keep it as a crush then you don’t have to tell her. Just don’t get upset or try to hold her back if she ends up going for him.
Okay, I see 🙂 I feel better talking about it. I think I worded my post pretty roughly cause it was in the heat of the moment. I think I’ll just let it go because you’re right, there are so many more options out there.
NAH but you do need to recognize what others are saying that it’s is not up to you and your friend who your crush is with. You can’t “tag” people.
Yeah thanks man. I realize how immature I sounded