My cousin and I are similar ages and have always done things such as graduate, receive honors and scholarships and big milestones around a year apart. Once we graduated college, I assumed we would finally break away from the same timeline. I’ve had a serious boyfriend all through college, while she was on and off with hers. I got engaged 2 years after graduating college. We were close growing up so I had her in my wedding party. There was no talks of her getting engaged, in fact, my husband even asked her BF for their timeline so that he didn’t spoil or affect any plans just incase. Because he knew we shared all major milestones he wanted to make sure we each had our own time. Well, fast forward to my bridal shower where people are doing small talk and ask her how her and bf are, she tell people they’ve been ring shopping and 1 week later, they get engaged! We were so happy for them, but immediately got the update that they’re not rushing their wedding like we did, a response that I thought was odd since I never said anything about their timeline. I also got to hear about how much bigger her ring is. My grandmother who helped us pay for the wedding wanted extended family such as her siblings and their families there, so we invited them and had to prune down some friends from work and other friends that we would have loved to be there, but just couldn’t fit in the budget with my grandmothers list. We got to hear that although she is also helping pay for their wedding, the learned from us and want more friends there so the are not following her list request. The whole family is talking about how many finds they are inviting and how fun the wedding will be because of that. A year or so later, my husband and I buy a house. It’s a starter home and not super big, but what we could afford without breaking the bank. They have been living in a family owned apartment with my aunt and Uncle paying half their rent and always talk about how comfortable and big it is! It’s the same amount of bedrooms as our house ( which has been a frequent comment). Well, a month after we close, they are in talks of buying land and building a super expensive new build house. We congratulated them but after hearing that they are glad they get to design their own since our had so many quirks and fixes, I snapped and told her that I am gettin frustrated at constantly doing things right after us and bragging about doing it better! AITA for snapping at her?
YTA, how delusional can you be holy shit
Honestly so rude of the cousin to be born less than a year apart and graduate and receive honors and scholarships exactly one year away from OP!
Eh light ESH. They shouldn’t be bragging about her ring compared to yours or putting down your wedding timeline and such, but you are about the same age and the milestones you’re experiencing are normal things. Frustrating for sure that it always feels they’re doing it immediately after, but maybe they feel frustrated that you’re always getting there first. They suck for being rude, you suck for snapping at something normal.
YTA. I don’t think they are paying as much attention to you as you are to them
You haven’t realized that the two of you are competing against each other. You may not be actively participating but, your cousin is. Consider keeping future events/changes to yourself if it bothers you the way she handles things. You can control this and you can control how you feel about the things she does. There could be some dynamic between you that may have been spawned in your childhood and you can’t see it anymore. She sounds childish and must be getting something (dopamine) out of it that keeps her going. You let your emotions take over and made yourself look bad to her and probably the family. Back off of this relationship with her so that you can move forward without her competitive spirit getting involved.
No judgement, this relationship could use some work or distance.
ESH. The only real grievance I can validate here is the talk about real estate, because realistically I feel like it is not normal to talk about how big and comfortable your apartment is and how many bedrooms it has to your cousin who you’re close with multiple times like this. That would tick me off but everything else feels like it could be perfectly coincidental.
OP just happened to get married before the cousin so they drew the short straw in terms of knowing how to handle Grandma’a requests, and if the cousin got an especially big engagement ring, then it’s naturally going to come up.
Geez just live your life before you drive yourself and your husband crazy. I had 2 siblings and 3 cousins get houses last year, 2 siblings got married last year and 2 other cousins. A sister and a cousin had babies within 2 weeks of each other. Sometimes timelines line up. Quit comparing and competing and just enjoy life.
Paragraphs are good things to use!
ESH, could be all a coincidence, could all be premeditated.
ESH both of you are being extremely immature. Who cares about her having a bigger house or wedding? You’re all adults here. Guarantee you basically no one in the family cares even a fraction as much as you do about how big her house or wedding is. Competitions over stuff like this is childish and will ruin your relationship over literally nothing.