My grandma has been really sick lately and she doesn’t get better she keeps on falling ill again and again and I’ve got the gut feeling that she’s not going to last for long and my mother is in a really bad mood whenever she hears about this and keeps on directing her anger towards me like I’m the reason my grandma is Ill , mom keeps lashing out at me at any minimum thing I do and keep saying I’m not listening to her but when ever I try to get her to talk to me about it she pushes me away aggressively .
I love my grandma so much she’s a really sweet person and loving but I can’t be worried about her death .
Yes I’m going to miss her but I don’t think I’m going to be in grief or something like that and honestly I can’t care about anyone’s well being unless it effects me and all I can think about now that if she’s going to die my mother will make my life a living hell
Is it bad that I don’t care about my grandma?
YTA simply for equating normal human grief with “crashing out”. That’s not even what that means.
Grow up.
NTA but from experience after she passes you will care plenty. It’s just too big a thing for you to deal with right now. Your mum is hurting. That’s her mother.
The lack of periods is making me I’ll.
Lol
YTA. It sounds like you don’t care about anyone but yourself. It’s ok if you aren’t grief-stricken over your grandmothers death, but you can’t muster up any empathy and patience for your mom, who will obviously be grieving the loss of her mother? Grief is hard. She might not treat you perfectly for a while – and she doesn’t have to. She’s grieving. Try supporting her instead of complaining about it. Choose love and helping others, not a selfish “what about me?” attitude.
“I love my grandma. She’s a very sweet person.” Followed by “I dont care about my grandma” YTA. Dont you think your mother may be in pain too.
Info: can you give some examples of your mom taking her anger out on you?
Not caring about anything or anyone unless it impacts you is the mark of either an unempathetic child, or an egocentric adult. Based upon on your writing I going to guess that you’re a child who hasn’t yet developed empathy. If that’s the case, it’s worth considering that your peers call any adult who feels th way you do a narcissist.
At any rate, we need to know if your nom is actually taking her anger and grief out on you, or if you are trying to make this all about you and are upset that your mom doesn’t have the emotional capacity to make you the center of her world right now.
YTA. “I can’t be worried about her death.” “When I try to force my mom to talk about it she gets mad.”
Well if you don’t want to be worried about it…stop trying to force your mom to talk about it.
Sorry to hear about your grandmother.
I get that you’re worried snd upset. And your post is one long runon sentence. Please, please, please edit to add some punctuation so we can follow what you’re trying to say.
I don’t really wanna call you an asshole because I’m guessing you’re a teenager going through something like this for the first time but you should at least try and be a little more compassionate to your mom, y’know? I don’t think she genuinely means to treat you badly so I’m not gonna say your mom’s an asshole either, but put yourself in her shoes, if the woman who raised you was dying in front of your eyes, you would be stressed out beyond belief. Grief is weird and it looks like the two of you are processing it differently, and that’s normal.
It sounds like your mom is experiencing a lot of fear and pain at the thought of losing her mother. I’m sorry that that is coming out in ways that are not good for you. You dont say how old you are, but im going to assume you are in school. If you can, reach out toca trusted teacher or counselor or other trusted adult (at school or elsewhere) to help tall through your feelings and get some help. Maybe advice on taking care of yourself. Maybe they can help your mom as well.
One thought – you say you dont care about your grandmother. I suspect thats not true. And that you are just feeling overwhelmed and focusing on the most immediate part of your situation, which is your mom. Try to give yourself some grace on working through all the messy complicated feelings that this situation is provoking.
Best wishes as you navigate this difficult time.
YTA for saying you can’t care about anyone’s well being unless it affects you.
ESH your mom shouldn’t take her emotions out on you. And it’s normal for someone to be more upset about their mother dying than their grandmother because the relationship is closer between your mom and her mom. BUT not caring about someone’s well being unless it affects you is a lack of empathy that is not good (assuming you don’t have any trauma or other condition that forces you to disassociate) – not only does it mean you don’t care about people but it also is proven to make you less creative, incentive, intelligent, etc. I don’t mean not crying or falling apart, everyone grieves in their own ways, but not caring at all that your grandma is suffering. Try reading more fiction, that increases empathy.