So I recently went on a trip with my friend. I’d noticed something was up, but every time I asked if she was okay, she said it was fine, then returned to her phone. She kept bailing on our shared plans, and I would end up doing them on my own.
When it comes time to board the flight home, she boards early as she uses a cane. She refuses my help with her bags, and barely speaks twenty words to me over the full 10+ hour period.
When we land, I take her carryon out of the compartment for her, which she then sets in my seat, along with her cane and her other bag. As that leaves me in the aisle, I start moving when the rest of the row does. (The entire trip, she had been physically shoving me around, even for a few inches, because I am ‘in the way’, so I’m admittedly paranoid about holding things up at this point.) Once I reach the end of the ramp, I stop and wait for her.
When she comes out, she’s livid. She says I’m an asshole for boarding with her, but then not waiting for her to leave the plane. I had legitimately thought she was just behind me – Which I told her, and said that it hadn’t been my intention to leave her behind. Honestly, I am more taken aback at this point, as she had frequently walked on without me, and was now openly mocking the way I was always following her, yet not this time. I try to talk about it, but she told me to begone from her sight, and refused to let me help her with her luggage.
Upon reaching her apartment, she closed herself in her room, and still refused to have a conversation with me hours after the fact. Was I wrong to walk ahead? I stopped where the crowd ended, but I really don’t know what she wants from me.
This person is very hard work. If they won’t talk there’s not much you can do.
Move on and try to keep your distance.
NTA
Honestly its not worth it by then, NTA
You might consider her your friend, but are you sure she considers you a friend? Friends don’t treat friends the way you were treated throughout the trip. My first thought was to wonder if you paid for the whole thing and she just treated it like a free trip with an inconvenient person there with her.
I’m going to withhold judgment because I feel like there’s a ton of missing reasons here that aren’t in the story itself.
Namely, how long she’s been in this mood, how your friendship has been since you met her, and reasons why she was essentially fuming the entire trip to such a point where she didn’t feel comfortable being around you, except during times where she seemed to want your assistance (i’m going on the assumption here that because she uses a cane, being alone was a vulnerable moment for her despite her mood at the time).
Based on what you wrote here, you’d be NTA. But, unless you address a lot of the unwritten context here, it could be anything from NTA to ESH to YTA.
She’s PO’ed about something else.
IMO whatever you did on the trip, she wou;d have had the same response.
I’m sorry, but it sounds like she just doesn’t like you. You shouldn’t have to chase after friendships or beg them to treat you like someone they care about. She’s already checked out of the friendship, I think you should cut your losses and find friends who want you to be happy because it makes them happy too.
“friend “sounds absolutely exhausting.
NTA and your “friend” seems awful. Saying that she’s “fine” when she’s very obviously not is immature and shows poor communication skills. If you did something to upset her, fine, but that needs to be communicated so it can be rectified. If you didn’t do anything, why is she taking it out on you? That’s not your friend love.
NTA
How is she behaving like a friend, blowing up at you, mocking you and shoving you instead of asking you to move?
She’s acting like an asshole. I would end that friendship so fast.
NTA it sounds like she simply doesn’t like you or want to be your friend anymore. There’s probably nothing specific wrong, that can be put into words. She’s likely just over the friendship. Time to move on.
If she’s like my ex, you’ve committed the high crime of failing to read her mind or at least thinking exactly like her at all times.
NTA
INFO: Are you also roommates? I wonder why you’d be at her apt for hours while she isolated herself and ignored you.
Op, i want u to read ur story 10 times and tell me,
Which part of it is “friend”?
She huffy, she sulking, she silent, she complains, she is basically an energy vampire. Having a bad day doesnt excuse it.
NTA, but i would want u to rethink it.
NTA. Your friend is no friend, though. She was disrespecting you the entire trip, it sounds like. Don’t even worry about her anymore. You don’t need friends like her.