My mom (58 F) recently went to an African country for medical treatment from the US. My two older sisters (37F) paid for all her accommodations. My mom gets disability assistance every month ($ 1k).
Unfortunately, my mom’s dad (grandfather) recently passed away on Christmas Eve. My mom now has to pay for her dad’s funeral (she sent us a list of what she needs: money for food, accommodation (she wants to book a hotel for 5 days?, food, all totaling $7k). It is important to note this country takes funerals very seriously.
She asked my older sisters for the $7k but they got into an argument. My mom also said she needs to book 3 rooms (1 for the taxi driver and 1 for my aunt (40+ F)). It is important to note my aunt has been getting money from my mom and sisters for her son (my cousin) for years to the extent that my mom complained to us that she didn’t have enough money for me and my siblings (ex. Bills and school supplies)
I have another sister (22F) and my mom called her a few days ago asking to borrow $1k. My sister only gave her $200. Additionally, a family friend gave her $1k last month to help with the funeral. She called me (20F) yesterday and asked me for $400 and I sent it to her. She then sent me a text this morning asking for $600 more. She said that she would pay me back when she receives her assistance money on the 19th. She did not even say thank you or confirm if she received the money.
It is important to not that my grandfather has over 8 kids that can contribute. The currency exchange is $1 to 11 of the country’s currency. WIBTA if I don’t send her the rest.
Also, to add on, my brother (32 M) was not asked for money (I asked him). I feel like she gives my brother preferential treatment over my sisters and I. He is in grad school and gets his full tuition covered (he only pays for his apartment and other material). So…. I feel that my mom should ask him to contribute more as I am not working and the only money I get is from tuition refund from college.
NTA – sorry but Your mom needs to figure out how to pay for all of this
You’re probably not going to see any of that money back, so definitely don’t send her more. NTA
NTA if you don’t have the funds to lend her then you can’t do it. You don’t have a job and are a student it is unreasonable for your mom to expect so much money from you.
I only have $7k in my bank account. But I have full tuition, housing and meal plan.
I’m stuck on why she needs a room for the taxi driver.
NTA. Your dad’s children should be paying but if they live in Ghana and your mom and you all live abroad, the family probably thinks you all are rich? Let your brother pay. Don’t give her more of your tuition refund.
You aren’t getting that money back.
The only thing more constant than her income, is her debt, and she must be living it up in Ghana with all that money.
Also why couldn’t she share a room with her sister?
It’s crazy that people have children to just use them as retirement plans
Do not send that lady money wtf NTA
“sorry I just don’t have the money to give you.”
That’s it. Full stop.
NTA this is for your mom to figure out.
NTA it’s crazy you’re in college and your mom is asking you for money instead of your brother in his 30s. You should not have to support her. I do understand wanting to contribute something to your grandfathers passing which you did…but your brother should be helping if your mom is going to make you guys pay for it. Was your brother favored or treated differently when you were growing up because he’s male?
NTA. If grandad had 8 children, they should all be chipping in.
I feel.like.yoir mom knows you got your tuition refund and is trying to use that
Why does a taxi driver need a hotel room and why can’t her sister pay for her own room?