My son is 12 years old. He has quite big confidence issues. So I signed him up a few months ago to a drama club. They are doing a play called High School Musical. Like the movie but on stage.
The age limit of the drama group is 20. There’s a 19 year old girl at his drama group who’s got a two hundred thousand tick tock followers. Other peoples parents have spoken about her being “famous” before. And constantly seeing her videos. So I followed her. I’ve commented on a few of her videos before. And I said how my son goes to her drama group. And she said that’s so cool. And followed me back. I didnt tell her who my son was specifically but she does know that peoples parents follow her on TickTock.
Last week they found out what characters they are playing in the show. My son got casted as the lead called Troy. The girl got casted as the lead girl Gabrielle who is the girlfriend of Troy.
Today she came up on my feed and she did a video staring into the camera with text on the screen that said “When you’re cast as the lead but your characters love interest is being played by someone 6-7 years younger than you”. I unfollowed her and commented on her video. “He’s very talented despite his age.” She responded to the comment saying “Yes! Honestly!! He’s so talented! He deserved the role!” I think realising it must’ve been my son.
I saved the video and I was considering sending it to the leader of the drama group. I send the video to my friend first who is one of the other mothers who actually was the one who told me about her Tick Tock channel that I don’t like the fact she made a video talking about my son and I am going to complain to the director this is bullying.
My friend said she doesn’t think she means it personally and she didn’t mention him by name and was probably just making a joke about the age gap. I said that it’s still putting my son in an awkward situation.
My friend said she checked her TicTock channel and the video seems to not be there and it does seem she’s deleted the video. I said I might still report it Incase she posts about him. She said I can do what I want but she thinks I’m overreacting and reporting her would make things awkward and make me seem bad.
Am I really in the wrong here?
I think she was trying to get views via the “older woman, younger man” trope. And it is supposed to be funny cos she’s only 18/19 herself. She’s not putting down your son.
Also she didn’t post your kid’s face.
You are kinda over protective in this case, and this could get awkward.
MASSIVE YTA and I’m saying this as someone in theater. You’re concerned about a tiktok that has no ties to your son but not that the director put a minor who’s not even a teen as the love interest of an adult???
You do what you think is right for your son, **BUT** I think that you are overreacting. It is weird to be 19 with a 12yo love interest, so she probably is only “making a joke about the age gap”. From your description, she didn’t say anything personal or negative about your son. Also, she took the video down, so I don’t see the issue.
Keep in mind if you do report it, it may make things worse for your son.
YWBTA as I’m reading it she didn’t show your son on camera and did not name him. She didn’t say anything about his talent or ability, she is merely poking fun at the likely incredibly awkward age difference in the casting. In my opinion she hasn’t done anything wrong and even deleted the video when she saw it upset you, which is more than I think she needed to do.
However the fact that the casting has such a wide age difference is concerning, the casting director for the drama group should be ashamed that they put the girl in such an awkward position to act in love with a literal child 7 years younger than her.
YWBTA if you report her. It doesn’t seem like she meant anything in a malicious way towards him. From the story, it doesn’t sound like she mentioned his name or anything personal, and I can understand how the age gap could be awkward. He’s had confidence issues as you mentioned, and this drama club sounds like it is doing good things for him..plus he’s talented enough to get the lead…don’t make his safe space weird for him by making a big deal out of something that wasn’t done to harm him. If she’s removed the video on top of all this, I would let this rest.
YTA Calm down Mama Bear. You need to learn to stay out of teenage drama unless your son is actually being bullied or mistreated in some way. Inserting yourself in this way is likely to make him a laughingstock.
YWBTA.
She did not disparage your son or name him. When she saw you were upset, she took down the video.
You are *overreacting*, and if you continue making this a big deal *you* are going to be the one embarrassing your son.
Let it go.
YTA….She wasn’t bullying. She was showing awareness of the weird casting choice. She brought no direct attention to your son…
YTA if you report this. No matter how talented an actor your son is, at 12, it’s going to actually look creepy if he’s romancing an adult on stage. She was commenting on the age difference, not on your son or his abilities. I mean, you say they’re bf/gf…will they hold hands? Kiss? How awkward would that be?
YTA
She didn’t say your son’s name. Didn’t show his face. Didn’t even say the name of the group or production so anyone could find who she was referring to. Her comment wasn’t negative, it didn’t insult your son or criticize him in any way.
But you took offense anyway and are blowing it up into a whole Thing™️.
YWBTA if you say something. Plus, she’s not wrong. It’s going to be awkward for a 19yr old girl to act like she’s in love with a 12yr old. She said nothing negative about your son, just commenting on the age difference. You’re overreacting.
YWBTA
>My friend said she … was probably just making a joke about the age gap.
“Probably”? That’s literally exactly what she did. And who wouldn’t? I think we were all like “WTF” as soon as we read the ages.
Info: how obvious is the age gap? Does she look young and he look mature? Are the audience going to react the same way we and her have?
I’m confused. Was the whole video her commenting on the completely obvious to everyone weird casting choice to place a 12 yr old and a 19 yr old as love interests? That is really creepy for anyone who will watch this play and makes me wonder about the director. Also, will your son have to hold her hand? Kiss her? Say romantic lines to her? It’s probably very uncomfortable for her. YWBTA
YWBTA and are TA. She made a joke about the age gap. She didn’t say anything wrong. The age gap is funny and he is obviously talented. If you want your son to gain confidence you have to land the helicopter. What are you going to do if someone doesn’t like his performance?